Looking Back,Heading Forward

Well here it is, the ending of another year, as we head towards Christmas we all know that the New Year is around the corner and kitten has been looking back over her writings and remembering, what a year it has been

Kitten was released by her Master, but not in a way most are released, He just left, there one minute and then gone, since then He has been back a few times and messed with kittens head, telling her she would always be His no matter what she did or who thought they owned her, this has lead to some really bad moments for kitten and still He comes back and leaves her messages and calls her, something kitten dreads as what He tells her she knows is true, yet she doesn’t want Him to tell her how bad she is and how worthless yet she must be in some ways for Him to keep telling her that.

Then there was all the trouble that kitten went through with others as well, jeez what a year it has been, all the ups and downs and all the tears and heart ache, yet kitten survived, she is still here and now she is looking forward to the New Year, a bright start, a new beginning with a Master she adores, One who tells her she is worthy and valued, kitten knows she has a long way to go to believe Him 110% but she is getting there, there are things kitten keeps to herself, she finds it hard to share with anyone what is going on in her head, experience shows her that her thoughts and fears can be used against her but kitten is trying to move past that, slowly she is learning to trust, kitten was told the other day she was not capable of loving someone as she would not allow herself to, guess in a way that is true, but kitten does love and she loves deeply and whole heartedly but kittens love is the love a slave has for her Master not a romantic bring kitten flowers and take her for a meal type love.

Kitten is looking forward to 2009 with hope and excitement, it is the new beginning kitten needs and with Master beside her it will be the continuation of kittens growth, now if only she can persuade Him that pillows and cuddles and kisses are not something kitten needs you will all see the smile on her face

Take care all and kitten hopes your Christmas and New Year are as wonderful as kitten prays hers are

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND KITTEN HOPES YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL 2009