Wednesday 1 April 2009

Kittens Notepad

Well kitten is now at the magic two weeks mark, and time seems to be going so fast she is flying around doing everything she can but getting nothing accomplished, and that is a horrible feeling for someone who usually has her finger on the pulse, add to that some other things and at the moment kitten is not sure if she is standing up or sitting down, really wish she was with Master now, just so she knew that all would be alright, and that there would be nothing that anyone could do to her, nothing could touch her, and if it did Master would be there to instantly know something is wrong.

Kitten is now at the ‘ going through the motions’ stage, she is here but in body only, her mind is over loading and she can’t cope with it so it is better to shut that down and just move through the day, take her list and do what she has written on there, no more, no less, its no good trying to think about things as for some reason nothing is making sense, and those who read this know that kitten has a hard job telling what is bothering her, something she knows annoys Master but old habits die hardest and kitten is really not comfortable with that, hence why she writes, her notepad is her lifeline at times, all the things she thinks, feels, fears, worries about are in there, that is her confessional if you like, the place that does not judge her or make her feel worse, you should try it, its a great release at times.

Kitten went into an old ‘room’ on a friendship site yesterday, the first times in more months than she cares to count, she was asked to go by another as there was talk of closing it down and they were trying to build it up again before it was brought to kitten to close down * it is a room kittens previous Dom created and gave to kitten, so it is up to kitten to close the accounts down * It was really weird, as soon as kitten went in she was the ‘all singing and all dancing ‘kitten from before, she was a plastic person, can’t really explain but the kitten in that place is not the real kitten, she is someone who was invented to be everyones friend, to be the ‘go to ‘ person, to laugh and joke, to be the smart ass and the shoulder to cry on, the agony auntie and the advice column, and to some of them the cyber partner they have always been looking for, but that is not the real kitten, and maybe thats the problem, no one on them sites really want to know the real person behind the name, either that or kitten is getting to cynical and can see most of them for the pretenders/wannabes they really are.

Lol remind kitten to write in her note book, and to make these posts more entertaining, hhhmmm guess teasing Master is on the cards tonight, need a boost and if kitten works on her plan now she might, just might stand a chance, but its really hard when even His cats have a blinking Masters Handbook for Cats, so now she has a Master who has a Master cat, there is no hope really, but guess what cat........... this kitten has the place on the floor by the bed to curl up on, so your out of luck there !!!! kitten thinks being with Master 24/7 is going to be entertaining if nothing else, for B/both of U/us.

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