Looking Back,Heading Forward

Well here it is, the ending of another year, as we head towards Christmas we all know that the New Year is around the corner and kitten has been looking back over her writings and remembering, what a year it has been

Kitten was released by her Master, but not in a way most are released, He just left, there one minute and then gone, since then He has been back a few times and messed with kittens head, telling her she would always be His no matter what she did or who thought they owned her, this has lead to some really bad moments for kitten and still He comes back and leaves her messages and calls her, something kitten dreads as what He tells her she knows is true, yet she doesn’t want Him to tell her how bad she is and how worthless yet she must be in some ways for Him to keep telling her that.

Then there was all the trouble that kitten went through with others as well, jeez what a year it has been, all the ups and downs and all the tears and heart ache, yet kitten survived, she is still here and now she is looking forward to the New Year, a bright start, a new beginning with a Master she adores, One who tells her she is worthy and valued, kitten knows she has a long way to go to believe Him 110% but she is getting there, there are things kitten keeps to herself, she finds it hard to share with anyone what is going on in her head, experience shows her that her thoughts and fears can be used against her but kitten is trying to move past that, slowly she is learning to trust, kitten was told the other day she was not capable of loving someone as she would not allow herself to, guess in a way that is true, but kitten does love and she loves deeply and whole heartedly but kittens love is the love a slave has for her Master not a romantic bring kitten flowers and take her for a meal type love.

Kitten is looking forward to 2009 with hope and excitement, it is the new beginning kitten needs and with Master beside her it will be the continuation of kittens growth, now if only she can persuade Him that pillows and cuddles and kisses are not something kitten needs you will all see the smile on her face

Take care all and kitten hopes your Christmas and New Year are as wonderful as kitten prays hers are

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND KITTEN HOPES YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL 2009

Kinky ?

Trust

Trust in any relationship is a vital thing, a Dom or Master needs to know that He can trust those who serve Him as much as the sub or slave needs to know that her Dom or Master is a Man of honour and she can trust Him, especially if T/they are involved in some of the more extreme parts of BDSM.


There are times when a slave is party to parts of her Masters life that she knows she has no right to tell others, now if she is new or she is lonely or even if she thinks that by saying something will enable others to talk to her thus allowing her to have a conversation with another person, she should still not say anything, her Dom or Masters business is just that, His business and she has no right what so ever to actually tell His business to anyone.


If the Dom or Master is poly then there are times when one of those owned think they are more important than any others, the fact they have this knowledge to His life makes them believe they have a certain ‘ power’ over others, and by saying things that have happened during the course of the day they are ‘Lording ‘ over others within the relationship, this is something a Dom or Master needs to stop happening as they could find themselves poly with no one else to serve them except the one who thinks she is superior.


A new sub or slave invariably will resent an older sub/slaves presence, it can and often does make her feel inferior so she will say things, pass on information she has no right to, do things, mention things in various places knowing it will be read just to make herself look good and ‘more’ than another, all this will do is serve to make all involved in the relationship realise just how childish that one is being. We all have things to say and we all know parts of our Dom or Masters life, it is a sign of strength and maturity knowing that a sub or slave is just that, she has no right to spread her Dom or Masters business around to others, there is something called respect and if a sub or slave does not respect her Dom or Master, then how can another sister trust her with anything that is going on in their life ?


If you find yourself privy to anything that is happening in your Dom or Masters life, be it a new sub getting involved or a new car being purchased, or even a new job interview or promotion, anything that concerns your Dom or Master, then it is NOT your business to pass it on to others without permission and when you are found out and upset and crying, moaning about how your life is not fair and it was not your fault, think on,,, this is your own fault for opening your mouth and chances are you are still doing it, you are going for the ‘please feel sorry for me ‘ angle.
Sub/slave or in a vanilla relationship, you have no right to spread your Dom or Masters life to others no matter what circumstances without His permission, thats what trust is about.

Keeping Quiet is the best thing

There are times in life when all you want to do is rewind and cancel a previous day, and kitten wants to do that, she wants to delete last night and take back the conversations she had with her Master about things that are worrying her. Kitten spoke to Master at His insistence and she was honest and truthful, she explained as best she could about certain things that were bothering her, this was done in her time, a time when she should be allowed to speak freely with no come back unless she steps over the line as it was, which she didn’t think she had but now it seems she must have as Master hardly spoke to her at all the next day, even leaving early which is something He rarely does.

Kitten knows the subject spoken about was one they had discussed before and the problems were not new ones, so maybe He was annoyed that kitten had not moved on from them but if kitten is to be with Master as is the desire of us B/both then they need to be sorted out as it is the main stumbling block in kittens hope for serving Master fully.

The non speaking of Master just topped kittens day off, when she had a problem with certain things on her blog page she was made to feel stupid by another, this made kitten mad but she kept quiet, she bit her tongue, guess she should have done that when Master told her to say what was wrong, what her doubts were, sometime saying things is not the best way, sorting out your problems on your own is, see kitten is not a cuddle and touch type of person, in this life that is not the M/s way, especially with Master, He is not a ‘touchy feely’ type of person which is something kitten understands and doesn’t mind, however kitten does like to be spoken to at times especially if W/we are B/both online for hours at a time.

So what has kitten learnt ? To keep quiet and not speak when things are running through her head, the results are not worth it, kittens problems she will have to learn to work out by herself, no matter what the problem, kitten does not like being made to look stupid and she doesn’t like the results of saying what is bothering her. Kitten is kitten, all singing and all dancing and she will survive this and more she is sure, maybe a bit more uncertain and a bit more doubtful but kitten is nothing if not smart, she learnt a lesson, and that lesson was silence is the best way when things are going wrong, the only one to help kitten is kitten.

Climb 'Til Your Dream Comes True

Often your tasks will be many,
And more than you think you can do.
Often the road will be rugged
And the hills insurmountable, too.
But always remember,
The hills ahead
Are never as steep as they seem,
And with Faith in your heart
Start upward
And climb 'til you reach your dream.
For nothing in life that is worthy
Is ever too hard to achieve
If you have the courage to try it,
And you have the faith to believe.
For faith is a force that is greater
Than knowledge or power or skill,
And many defeats turn to triumph
If you trust in God's wisdom and will.
For faith is a mover of mountains,
There's nothing that God cannot do,
So, start out today with faith in your heart,
And climb 'til your dream comes true!

by: Helen Steiner Rice

Advice

So many enter this life thinking it will solve all their problems, that when they submit to a Dom or a Master then what ever they felt, thought, were would magically disappear and they would become this brand new person with no problems, things that plagued them would be erased and life will be all sunshine and roses.

SORRY WRONG !!!

This life is not the answer to all your prayers, its life and what ever problems you had before will still be there, its your Dom/Masters job to enrich your life not fix it, so if you have am image in your head of this being the thing that will fix you then kitten is sorry but you will proberbly be in for a big shock.

There are so many things that make up this life and some of those things a Dom or Master will have no knowledge of, there are certain things that a Man wil not be able to identify with and its at those times that a sub or slave will look elsewhere for information and help, so who does she turn to ?

Ideally she should turn to those within her family if her Dom or Master is poly but failing that she should turn to another who is more experienced, unfortunately the advice that might be given might not be something that you wish to hear, all to many times kitten hears of subs and slaves seeking help and then scorning the advice given, it is something that many do in all walks of life, they seek the knowledge and then adapt it so that its how they want it to be, some only view their version of the truth and this life as they want to, regardless if its right or wrong, if it doesn’t fit into their ideals then they ‘twist’ it a bit so it does fit into what they want.

Every relationship between a Dom/Master and those they own is different, no two are the same yet at the same time it is not a relationship in the traditional sense of the word, its a joining of like minded people into something they both want, to view it as a relationship and to try to convince yourself that it is a joining of hearts and souls is bound to lead to heart ache and misery for at least one of you, usually the sub or slave, therefore the advice sought and given can only be from the more experienced ones personal views, what has happened to her, what she thinks etc etc and as such it might be something that you will disregard but at the same time it is something worth thinking about.

There are no set rule books for this life, the only things that are consistent is the way a Dom/Master is addressed, the respect that is shown to the Dom/Master and others in the family, the knowledge that you are not the only one to have ever had these problems and fears and doubts, no matter what you are experiencing kitten is sure some one some where has experienced it before you and survived it.

Take heed in the fact that your feelings are just that, yours and they are often more magnified when constantly looked at, move on from that stage where you are the focus of your life, this is not about you any more but about your Dom/Master and as such your feelings, while important, are important only to you, its your choice whether you act on them or you recognise them and deal with them, there is always someone around to help you when you need it.

Thinking

Kitten is the type of person who values certain things, not things that cost lots of money but simple things, the type of things that make you feel so happy, they brighten your day and make you realise that there is someone or something that cares for you as much as you care for them.

A word spoken or a message typed all mean a lot to kitten and she takes these things to heart as she is a person who knows the value of words and deeds, the same way a lie can destroy so can a kind word build up, this is something kitten knows and she tries to always be fair when dealing with others.

Kitten today received an apology from someone who she had thought was a person to avoid at all costs, the trouble this person brought with her was something kitten had felt the backlash from and so she was the last person kitten had expected to apologise, but it seems that this other person has grown up and moved on, she is no longer involved with people who were causing her harm and mischief and she is, to be totally honest, finally growing up.

This brought to mind instances and things said and done, and with the thinking came the realization that life is to short, kitten really doesn’t care any more, she doesn’t care if others wish to speak to her or not, she doesn’t mind if they feel they need to ‘hide’ when they are online, she doesn’t worry that what she is saying might offend as if there is no wrong doing then how can she offend? Kitten is at the stage now she needs to think of kitten and those she cares about and who care about her and not of others, and * shrugs* kitten can only be kitten, she has never pretended to be anyone else, she has only ever been herself and that is good enough for kitten and hopefully good enough for Master, kitten is kitten all singing and all dancing and all kitten

Thinking

As kitten sits here thinking of what to write she starts to think about things that have affected her life in one way or another, there are things in everyone’s life that have an effect on them, whether meaningful or negative, its up to the individual how they perceive these events.


Kitten knows she is outspoken at times, she is too honest at times and as such she sees things that effect her and so she reacts, this is wrong, but kitten, apart from being a slave is also a person and as such she has feelings and emotions, maybe too many, who knows, but that is part of who she is.


There are times when kitten knows she needs to walk away from a situation, to ignore things said and done, is she mature enough? Sometimes she is and at others she isn’t, this is a fault of hers, and one she tries hard to improve on but as with all things she has lapses and its those lapses that hurt people around her, something she doesn’t wish to do but its the old mentality, striking back and defending.
So what do you do in that situation? Well the best thing to do would be to walk away, to turn the other cheek and not let them affect her, in the ideal world everyone who kitten interacts with would be mature and self assured enough to take another’s point of view, but again this is not something that is possible, as long as there are two people with minds and brains there will be two people with views they think are right. If someone says something that you don’t like, something you disagree with then walk away, ignore and not take any notice, if they wish to take it further then they are the ones who are going to look stupid in the end, as it will only make them look petty and vindictive.


Problems are with us in ever step of our lives, its the way we deal with them that make us the people we are, and kitten dealt with her problem badly, again it takes a big person to admit they were wrong in their reactions.

Trust

A lot of this life is taken on trust, a sub/slave HAS to have complete trust in the One that owns her, her life is in His hands and as such He has the power to either enrich that life or destroy it, by the same token a Dom or Master has to have trust in those who serve Him, indeed He cannot accept submission from someone He doesn’t trust as this makes a mockery of all this life stands for.

At the same time a sister in a poly relationship needs to have trust in others within the family unit, she needs to know that those in that family are ones that will help and support her at times of stress and not turn a bad situation into one that will benefit herself, this involves a lot of trust on both parts and this is something that is not always there.

To submit to a Poly Master is something many say they have no problem with, however when they are greeted with one of their ‘sisters’ this can soon change, personality conflicts can sometimes sour what could be a good relationship, as can jealousy and a feeling of being slighted when things are said, especially if one is more experienced than another as is often the case. There are many times when the more experienced one is not the primary slave but this by no means gives the other the right to try to dictate actions to her, if she was to open her mind to the possibility that there is a lot to be learnt from another then the whole family unit can and more often does exist in harmony, something any Dom or Master wishes for.

A Dom or Master chooses those who serve Him for many reason, it is something that in all honesty only they will ever know but He chooses those He thinks will compliment each other, especially if He has wishes for them to ‘play ‘ and engage in many sexual activities together, again this is where trust comes in, you need to know for certain that you can trust a sister who is going to be inbetween your legs as they have teeth !! All joking aside, if you do not trust then you need to look at the reasons why, sometimes others versions of the truth are just that ‘ Their’ versions and not necessarily ones that are right, and by the same token if a sub/slave is all sweetness and light all the time, chances are she is a power keg waiting to go off and if you are not careful you might just be the intended victim.

To have trust in others you first need to trust yourself, and that starts with stopping pretending, stop acting as if you are perfect, no one is, we are all human and we all have hopes, wishes and desires, kitten tends to have more faith and trust in those who don’t lie to themselves as she has a feeling they are less likely to lie to others and trust cannot be built on lies.