I Am Kitten

This post has been deleted as people decided it was about them - in truth it wasn't it was something i wrote on one of my blogs a long time ago and just updated it, it was something that i was seeing over and over again on a certain friend site, people with multiple profiles and multiple personalities and how they were playing others in the rooms.

If the original post offened you i would like to ask you why ? is it because it somehow rings true about you ?

Rollercoaster of life

have you ever ridden a roller coaster, one theta turns you upside down and flips you all over the place ? It goes so fast and has so many twists and turns you wonder which way is up and which way is down, it leaves you shaking with excitement and trembling in fear all at the same time, well all kitten will say is ,, welcome to her world !

This last week has been hard for kitten for many reasons, some she will share and some she needs to keep to herself for her sanity, there are times in life when things are bleak, you look at where you are and see no way forward, things happen and it hurts, unfortunately couple that with a new project being undertaken and then things seem to mount up, the words you need to ground yourself are not there and then things grow in your mind and yes even in your heart, emotions become the order of the day and you need to either explode or shut down, both of which kitten has done, Did this change things ? Make them better ? nope not at all and then the feelings of sadness and despair take over,

kitten is a person who values things said, things mentioned, words can hurt as well as build her up, its strange life gives us so much but in return it takes more from us, its how we deal with it that counts, and sometimes kitten does not deal with it very well at all, but unless she tells Master then He will not know, but she cannot tell Him as He is busy, so kitten keeps it inside, she lets it have a part of her, it can not hurt her if she does not acknowledge it can it ? if she ignores it and pretends then things will be fine, won't they ?

kitten is kitten ,, all singing and all dancing and kitten will be fine .. she hopes

Is it enough ?

A slave has many uses to a Master, and they can range from being a house slave, a slave who helps a Master achieve His dreams, a slave who is there for emotional support, a sex slave, a same sex slave (one who will not have sex with Master but will engage at His request with other slaves He owns) but what if the type of slave you are is not enough? What if you know you are not desired by your Master as you want to be, you know He values you for certain things but He does not desire you sexually, will this be enough for you? Can you serve Him knowing you will never be used by Him?

Kitten knows that the feeling a slave feels for her Master are not just sexual but this forms a part of this life and if your Master shows no interest in you sexually then problems will occur. He will obviously be getting His needs met by others but what about you? A slave is told when to play and when to cum, yet if your Master doesn’t think of her needs then it can be and often is weeks at a time between Him remembering and more often than not it is at her reminder, this only serves to deflate a slaves feelings of self worth, she feels she is not valued or worth thinking about and this can and does lead to her doubting herself, if she is not worth a passing thought then what is she worth?

When you first get with a Master online then it is obviously difficult but in this age of cams, mics, and internet it need not be impossible, and if your sisters tell you that Master ‘ made them cum 12 times last night’ and you have not been played with at all, lol if her Master plays with those He doesn’t own but still not with you then you start to wonder what is wrong with you and question why, kitten knows that all slaves are individual but ultimately the basic needs of a slave should be remembered.

A slave has few needs and if she is a sexual person when her Master meet her and accepted her gift of submission then it stands to reason she will have desires and wants, things that form a part of her and those needs do not go away.

Question need to be asked and answered, this can be a major problem in any relationship not only in the M/s or BDSM life, but in this life the problems are more noticeable, if our Master does not want you,, can you really submit to Him ? Everyone has needs.

Poly Masters and slaves

A lot is said about being in a relationship and how a slave has no rights, but to kitten this is wrong, we do have some rights, and those are the rights of any human being, the right to be respected. What Master would want something He did not respect? the only type of Dom/Master would be an abusive one, to take a sub/slave and treat them with no respect is a form of abuse and it can and does destroy a slaves self esteem and a good Master builds a slave’s esteem as this makes her more worthy to Him as a person as well as a slave

A slave in a poly relationship has no rights over her Masters time and that is obvious in how she can be treated, she will sit and wait for Him to notice her, this is more evident online when the contact is limited anyway, add to this a time difference and this is more difficult, a Master will take this into account and will make sure that any time He is going to spend with that slave is hers, this does not always happen but kitten hopes that you would get that ‘special’ time at least twice a week, as everyone, including the Master needs to bond, and this is the way it happens.

Another thing kitten feels is that a slave needs to know exactly who is in the ‘ family’ who the other slaves and subs are, who else is a sister and to what degree, this is something that needs to be known, a Master who has 3 slaves is more able to satisfy the needs of His property than a Master who has 10, this kitten has seen a few times and to be honest if a Master is not telling you all involved in His life as a Master then you need to look at the reasons why ,, does He have too many to be able to be there for you when you need Him? Does He not regard you as a part of His family but more a distraction?

Kitten feels that to form a poly then all people involved need to know about each other and communicate, the doubts and misconceptions are fed when you discover that your Master has others you knew nothing about yet your sisters did and had been interacting with them alongside your Master, this leads you to question why you were not informed, a slave left out of the family is not a slave, she is just a person, and if she is to be part of the family then she needs to be included, that is not ‘Domming from the bottom’ that is being part of her Masters life, He accepted her gift of submission and all that it entailed, so to then not have her as part of Him is something she needs to ask why.

Something else that is important is you role in Masters life, what are you? if you are a sex slut then He will let you know that is what He wants from you but if He will not play with you then chances are that is not the role He has in mind for you, every slave fills a part of her Master, and a slave needs to know what part she is to fill,, if He wishes you to be a chauffeur and you cannot drive, then you will be of no use to Him! If He wants to take a whip to you and you hate pain, again some problems will arise, these are things that really need to be worked out and discussed.

It is hard for human nature not to get involved and jealousy is the one sure part of any slave regardless of whether she has been a slave for a 10 days or 10 years, the slave that says she is not jealous at some point or another is lying, both to herself and to her Master, something that a true Master will know and recognise as such, kitten does get jealous, not of the time spent with others as such but more of the time not spent with her. Kitten knows she has no rights over her Master but if looked at it another way, which Master would want a slave that is indifferent to Him? Who really didn’t care if He spoke/played/conversed with her? in one way the jealousy is a sign that a slave desires and wants her Master, and this can only be a good thing, as long as those feelings are not left to take over a slaves or a Master life then jealousy is an emotion that shows a Master how much He is love and desired, not only sexually but in an every day way as well

More kitten thoughts,, lol kitten really needs to stop writing what she feels!