I Am Kitten

This post has been deleted as people decided it was about them - in truth it wasn't it was something i wrote on one of my blogs a long time ago and just updated it, it was something that i was seeing over and over again on a certain friend site, people with multiple profiles and multiple personalities and how they were playing others in the rooms.

If the original post offened you i would like to ask you why ? is it because it somehow rings true about you ?

Trust and Faith in your Master

What is it about marks and bruises on my body that make me smile ? I am sitting here 'gingerly' as my back,legs,tits and belly as well as my pussy and thighs are a wonderful patchwork of crop,cane,belt and paddle marks, the bruises and welts a testiment to the pleasure i recieved at Masters hands last night.

I love the first strike, then as the scene progresses the 'burning' sensation that covers me, and if Master is concentrating on one area the sharp pain which turns to a hot ache as that area is struck repeatedly, yet as i lay there with my eyes closed and my hands bound i have no fear, i know deep inside that He will not hurt me and that sounds really weird as this Man is paddling me and whipping me hard enough to leave welt marks and raised skin, to bring the blood to the surface and almost cause it to flow but fear is never an emotion i think of in association with Him

I have at times made Him so cross that He is in my face shouting at me, He has banished me from His sight, He has walked away from me to calm Himself down yet still i did not fear for my safety.

The faith and trust a slave puts in her Master, regardless of whether she is one who enjoys paddling or not is one of the basic foundations of this lifestyle, she has to trust that He will keep her safe and not hurt her, she has to have faith that even during the hight of play He will be in control enough to know what is enough for her, she is putting her life in His hands and she needs to believe that He will always do His best to protect and guide her, without the basic trust and faith in her Master these simple things become a struggle for the slave, she will have doubts and fears that unless she believes in Him 100% will not leave her and so taint the whole relationship.

People in any form of relationship need these basic foundations, but they are more important in a BDSM M/s relationship as there is an element of 'danger' in the play times, the whips and canes can do real damage to a person and unless you have complete faith in your Master you will not allow yourself the freedom to explore all that this lifestyle can hold.

Sitting here i can feel the slight sting of some of the marks, my smile playing on my lips as i wonder if they will be faded enough for the doctors visit on friday, chuckling at the expression on his face as he sees the bruises, wondering how i am ever going to explain the pleasure i felt while recieving them and knowing in my mind that the doctor would never understand.
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With Masters Permission

When you are at school the teachers tell you that we are all equal, that we all have the same rights and that no one is better than anyone else. Most schools now days have done away with the sports days, as they believe that promoting awinning attitude is wrong for those less able, that by not winning you are in some ways damaging the self esteem of the 'loser'.

In a M/s relationship there is no equality, the 'power' lies with the Master, a slave is given certain 'rights' as deemed by her Master but those rights are subject to change - she misbehaves and privledges are removed until she has learnt her lesson, if indeed she does learn a lesson. Telling your Master sorry doesn't work, in most cases it is a word, and actions need to be shown so that the Master knows that indeed you are sorry and maybe - just maybe - those privledges removed might be reinstated.

There are many things that some people do not understand about the power exchange, it covers ALL of the slaves actions, for example i am not allowed to im with anyone without His permission, no permission no im ing - its that simple, the same goes for visiting others, i ask for permission and if it is denied then i do not go, this is M/s and the power exchange in action. There are times when He tells me what i am allowed to wear, or indeed if i am allowed to wear anything, this is His right. If i am putting on weight * and as i am quitting smoking and sucking cinnamon sweets like they are going out of fashion this is a real possibility*He will tell me to diet, if my hair is too long He will tell me to cut it, all these things and more are His right and i am to do as instructed because He is Master and when i submitted to Him i gave Him 100% control over my life and what i do or not do.

I have read that some slaves 'pounce' on their Master when they want sex, lol i can just imagine my Masters face if i did that, !!! that to me is 'Domming' it is not my choice when or if we have sex, it is His, and that is how it is meant to be, the same as with the paddle, i really don't like it on the back of my knees, no real reason why i don't like it there but Master knows this and while most of the time He doesn't use the crop or cane there He can and will if the mood takes Him, again it is His choice not mine as to what happens and how.

M/s is a relationship that is similar to every other one, it has all of the things you will find in a 'vanilla' relationship with the exception of the power division, this is the main thing that makes it different, and the one thing that a lot of people struggle with, it is an all or nothing relationship and not one that you can play at on monday but not on tuesday - you are either in the relationship 100% or you are not.

There are things in life that can cause a slave to struggle and that is where the bond with her Master comes in, it is His job to try to aliviate the struggles, to help her with any issues that she might have but at the same time it is the slaves job to make His life easier and not burden Him with things that are trivial and of no real importance. A good Master teaches His slave to identify problems that are real and take those to Him while at the same time either deal with the silly issues herself or ignore them.

The M/s relationship is a complicated one to many people but in reality it does not need to be, it is the same as everything else in life, it is only as difficult as people make it, go with your instincts, be true to yourself and your feelings, build the bond between you and your Master and be safe in the knowledge that He will protect you when needed.

This Life and All it Brings

When i got up this morning i felt the need to write something, so many things going around in my head, and most of the time when i write them down it helps me but for some reason this time there are so many things that i am finding it hard to sort them out properly and that just makes things worse as they are all tangled together and i can't sort them out.

I am missing my son, i knew things would be hard when i moved to be with Master but its the little things i am having a tough time dealing with, today he goes back to school, who will make sure he is collected on time, who will make sure his TA is there waiting for him, who will make sure the lessons he is taking are the right ones, who will be his voice when they decide to push him to far and he ends up in danger * and it does happen, many times* So many things i have done and now i am too far away to make sure they get done so i am feeling lost, as if i have no purpose in his life any more.

I am also questioning things about myself, something Master said about my sister and i not being slaves and he is going to demote us to subs until we refocus our minds onto what is really important, that hurt, i know there are times i make him mad but most of our arguments are not actually about me, and that is the worst thing, i can be 'demoted' if its something i am doing wrong, and i accept that, but when its not about me then thats not fair, but He decides what is fair, so many times i want to shout and scream and stamp my foot but there is no point, it will not achieve anything apart from me being punished.

I am learning to deal with things myself and not to share them with Master, He is always busy with others that what i say is sort of lost and so there is no point, i know this is wrong but when He is being 'hammered' on all sides He is just a man and as such He can only deal with so much at a time and regardless of what others think He is not a never ending support system, even He needs support at times and that i can give Him by not burdening Him even more with my problems.

So many people think that being a slave is all sunshine and roses, they fail to see the bigger picture, the actual ' living' part of being a slave, it is not all sex and bondage and wild times, it is life and all that it brings, and when a slave brings 'baggage' into the mix it just adds to the problems everyone faces, add to that a poly type relationship and more problems are faced by all, i sometimes wonder if people really know what this life is about, it is a wonderful way to live but it is also one of the hardest, and only those who are committed, and that applies to the Masters as well as the slaves, will survive, it is a relationship and it is a lifestyle, unfortunatly there are so many blogs and posts out there that make it seem like a polly anna type deal, they are so very wrong

Serving A Masters Needs

When you are involved in a M/s relationship, especially a poly relationship, then there are many ways you can serve your Masters needs. Some slaves are house slaves, taking care of the cooking, cleaning, laundry and general well being of their Master, some are sex slaves, taking care of His sexual needs and desires and some are used in other areas of His life to help make things run smoothly for Him in what ever capacity has been agreed upon when you submitted.

So what happens when one gets ill ? Who will take care of that area of His life ?

In a poly relationship another sister * slave* will pick up the 'slack' * for want of a better word* to help out, whether that is something they are primarily used for in their Masters life or not they should want to help out as in doing so their Master will still be cared for and looked after - be it offering to do the laundry or cooking a few meals to bring around to the house * if they do not all live together* this is a way they can help their Master and at the same time their family.

A poly relationship is something not everyone can live in, it can and often is trying for the Master and the slaves but when it works it can also be something a slave can draw strength from and companionship, it can give them a helping hand when one is ill and unable to do the tasks set out for them, thus ensuring that the Master is still able to concentrate on what He needs to.

New Social Site

kitten as many know has been in a few of the social sites on the internet, some better than others and that is why she is telling you all about a new site she has joined.
The site is for BDSM M/s and D/s relationships, you can post blogs, pictures,music, chat and so much more but the best part is it is for like minded people who when you look at the poll and read the posts and actually chat with them are on the whole REAL people and not just online players that you find in so many of the sites online.
The site is http://anownedlife.ning.com and it is a mine of information for newbies and more experienced people alike. Please check it out and look forward to seeing you in there, kitten is sure you will enjoy the site

Kitten had always considered herself a sexual person, but over the years, as life took over her journey her sex drive seemed to wan off, she was not bothered about sex, when she was told to do something she did it but very rarely did she get the ‘urge’ to ask for something, to ask to cum or play, she was getting to the stage she was content to watch him play with his others or indeed, not watch as the relationship broke down more and more but now she has a problem !

Master has a body to die for and He loves being naked, nothing wrong with that kitten knows but damn it makes for some uncomfortable thoughts in her head ! kitten is a slave and as such it is not her place to initiate sex or touch without permission, either herself or Master and when kitten sees Master naked it is so very hard to keep her mind on tasks or chores she is supposed to be doing.

Master knows that kitten loves the paddle/crop/switch and the marks on her body prove that He loves it as well, but omg kitten is insatiable where He is concerned and is almost catatonic at times when He pleases her. The ability to please Master with her mouth, pussy, ass is something kitten loves * for so many reasons some of which are really selfish !! and as time moves on kitten is finding that Master is awakening the parts of her she thought were dead and forgotten.

Kitten is once more becoming the person she was, but this time a new and improved version, one who is allowed to have likes and dislikes, thoughts and feeling, who is allowed to be sensual and sexual, now al kitten needs is for Master to realise that cuddles and pillows are really not that sexy and she will be in heaven !!!

What is kitten ?

When you read some of the posts and blogs out there, a question that is asked many times is what is a slaves role, what happens after the scene or the sex, when normal life is what surrounds you and you are left alone in a house with your Dom or Master, what then ? What do you do ? Sit in separate rooms ? Chat across a table at meal times only ? Ignore each other until the time He wants to use you again?

Kitten thinks if that was the case, there would be a lot of unhappy Doms and Masters out there, as well as subs and slaves, this might be M/s or D/s but it is still life and that would be pretty boring if there was no interests to hold you together on those quiet times, the times that everyone needs at times. Kitten has learnt some of Masters ‘moods’ she knows when to be quiet and not disturb Him, she knows when He wishes to ask her something or say something He will, and as kitten is happy within herself she is also happy with those quiet times, they are times to reflect on her life and to wonder how she got so lucky.

There are times when Master talks to her and to be honest kitten has no idea what He is speaking about, well that was then, at the moment Master is teaching kitten two separate things, not about BDSM, but these are things that interest Him and so kitten wants to learn, and she is, kitten knows she is not the smartest person but still He is not giving up on her, this to kitten means a lot as usually in the past kitten was not ‘taught’ anything except how to please sexually, but as kitten said, after the sex there is life, and knowing how to give your Master a blow job is good during a scene but what good does it do you in holding down a conversation ?

So what is a slaves place in her Masters life ? To kitten it is to be what He decides, when He decides, a slut when He wants her to be, silent when He needs her to be, a home maker, and no not in that way, but in the way of taking care of His basic needs, cooking washing etc, and being able to hold a conversation when He wants to talk to her.

Kitten is a slave, she is what Master wants her to be when He wants her to be, and that is something she is very happy being, Masters kitten

Erotic Humiliation

There is something about being called a slut or a whore, being made to kneel at His feet, being used as a toy for His pleasure only that is so erotic, its something kitten loves and thankfully so does Master.

There are many books on the market describing this, but kitten has just finished reading one which to her seems to capture all the important parts of this act, to humiliate someone is something many people do on a daily basis but to humiliate someone within the BDSM life is not abuse, it is erotic play and in kittens opinion its great.

Picture the scene, a slave on her knees, her Master thrusting into her while all the time He is calling her names, telling her how bad a fuck she is, how she is worthless and He is only using her as there is not one else around at that time, mmmm such a turn on to hear Him telling kitten how useless she is, how worthless, and the thing to remember is, this is in a scene, afterwards Master does not call kitten them names, she is not worthless and W/we B/both know this.

This is a great book and one kitten really reccomends

http://www.anownedlife.com/products/erotichumiliation.html

Questions

There are many times in a slaves submission she questions herself, she questions her abilities, whether she is someone that her Master wants, she questions if she is really cut out for the life of a submissive, indeed she asks herself can she really be what her Master desires, will she ever be able to make Him happy

All these questions are normal, and this kitten knows, but just because they are normal does not stop them from entering a slaves mind, events happen that trigger thoughts off and then comes a period of doubt, it usually does not last long but then again it can last too long, during which time you can really go through some bad thoughts, so what does a slave do ?

Well she should talk to her Master for a start, good advice kitten knows, and some she should take herself but kitten being kitten does things differently, she doesn’t talk, not having been used to telling anyone before what she is thinking or feeling it does not come easy, and on the few occasions she did tell her ‘friend ‘ it was used against her, more reason for kitten to keep her own council.

Kitten has been a slave for a long time but that does not mean she is immune to the thoughts and feelings of a new one, indeed sometimes because kitten knows a bit more about the lifestyle it makes the thoughts worse, and while she knows that things will work out as they are meant to it does not stop her having concerns.

When feelings and thoughts are predominant in a slaves mind, she should take the time to look at what causes them, she should examine the reasons and ask herself, is this something that is going to be a regular occurrence, and if it is, is it something she can live with, get past or accept ? The answer to these questions needs to be yes, as without a yes to the last two if the first one is yes then life as a slave can be very hard.

Talking is a great way to work your fears and problems out, but sometimes, the need to go within yourself is too great, so thats what kitten does, she goes inside and tries to figure things our herself, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but thats something kitten has to deal with.

As the time draws nearer for kitten to finally be with her Master she knows that there will be more questions and more events which will call into play all her strength and resolve, is she strong enough to deal with these things ? Only time will tell

After The Fun

Kitten has been on a few adult sites, she has talked to many people and she has given advice when asked, always with the words, this is kittens view, rightly or wrongly this is what kitten thinks or feel, and to that end she has had many conversations with others looking to enter this life and what they think it is all about, and unfortunately, so many of them are wrong, very very wrong
This life is not 24 hour sex, it is not about being tied and used as a toy for Him/Her, and nor is it about playing games * but this unfortunately happens so many times * This life is about LIFE
There are times when you are a slave or sub, a Master or Dom that you play, you ‘scene’ but what when that is done ? What when the toys are packed away and you are going back to your daily life ? What does this life hold for you then ?
Kitten sees so many play games online, they think that because they ‘submit’ online they are cut out for this life, and nothing could be further from the truth. There are so many Doms out there who think this is a good way to play games with people, to get them to basically put on a free sex show for them, unfortunately kitten knows this from experience, and when you meet a REAL Master or Dom it confuses the heck out of new ones at time. It is not only the Masters and Doms though, on the flip side there are many who say they like the lifestyle, they are ‘submissive’ at heart but in reality they only want to play, they too get their kicks from camming for others, playing games online, how would they fair in life ? Not very well kitten thinks, as in real life things are not like that, hell no one is going to be played with 24/7 and thats when things are really telling.... can the peson you are with have nothing sexual between you for two weeks ? Can they and will they still be as struck on you if there is no play ? Will the attraction still be there after a month ? Extreme kitten knows but BDSM and this life is not all about sex, it is about people and life, and sometimes people tend to forget this in pursuit of an orgasm, yet those in this life, really into this life know that the play is such a small part of it, it is the living of this life that takes the strength many do not have.