kitten, as you may have gathered, is going to visit Master, this is the first step in her being with Master, if things work out then kitten is hopefully going to be His kitten perminantly, this in itself will being with it more problems, but those kitten will deal with as they arise, she will do as she always does, take them one at a time and work her way through them,
kitten is the type of person who needs structure, she needs a routine, a list, a focus, she is really no good without the routine and structure in her life. kitten makes lists of things that need to be done, and one by one she checks them off the list, Master being a bugger to kitten loves to throw things at her, different tasks, adding some things taking others away, all things to try to make kitten more flexible, to not rely on her routine and lists all the time, He wants kitten to be confident in what she does and while He doen't mind her havine a routine He also wants her to be able to be confident in moving away from the list occasionally without panicing, not worked yet but He is not giving up.
kitten has many fears and doubts, she loves to help people, she gives advice and she talks to them, she will always be there for those who need her but kitten has a problem with telling others what is on her mind, she has found that it is not worth it, as most of the time it is not listened to and when it is it is turned around so she is the one who is found wanting as it was, so kitten tends to write on her notepad, and she keeps things to herself, this is something Master hates, He wants kitten to go to Him always, and she tries, but there are times kittens thought mix together and she can't seperate them so she stays quiet, maybe too quiet, but the one thing kitten knows is when she is finally in Masters arms and she feels safe and loved and protected she knows that all the problems that lead to her being there will be overcome, she will not worry about others insecurities or their doubts and fears, that will be for them to deal with, all kitten will know is that she if finally where she needs to be, where she wants to be and where she wants to stay
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Friday, 23 January 2009
kittens Getting Closer
This is like christmas to kitten, you know when you are waiting for something, you know it will eventually arrive, but you are too impatient, well that is kitten now, she is like a child waiting for a special day, and that day is moving slowly closer, but way, way to slow for her liking.
So what is kitten waiting for ? Well to be with Master of course, now kitten is not sure if He is actually as excited as kitten, she doubts it somehow as Master is a realist and He knows time will move at its own pace but damn it kitten wants to be there now !!
lol ok kitten is impatient, but she has waited for this time for ages, all the stumbling blocks, all the grief, all the tears, now it is going to be over, it is going to be kittens time, kittens time to finally be happy as she thinks she deserves to be.
kitten knows that being with Master will not change things for T/them, T/they will still have the same rules * possibly more as being r/t enables some rules to be added * and she knows that it will not all be plain sailing, kitten a realist, but the one thing she knows without a doubt is that finally she can serve Master fully, she can be His kitten in any way He desires * just hope He is not expecting fanny cradock as kitten still reading the cook books *
The count down continues, and time goes so slow ..............................
So what is kitten waiting for ? Well to be with Master of course, now kitten is not sure if He is actually as excited as kitten, she doubts it somehow as Master is a realist and He knows time will move at its own pace but damn it kitten wants to be there now !!
lol ok kitten is impatient, but she has waited for this time for ages, all the stumbling blocks, all the grief, all the tears, now it is going to be over, it is going to be kittens time, kittens time to finally be happy as she thinks she deserves to be.
kitten knows that being with Master will not change things for T/them, T/they will still have the same rules * possibly more as being r/t enables some rules to be added * and she knows that it will not all be plain sailing, kitten a realist, but the one thing she knows without a doubt is that finally she can serve Master fully, she can be His kitten in any way He desires * just hope He is not expecting fanny cradock as kitten still reading the cook books *
The count down continues, and time goes so slow ..............................
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
kitten is fine
Do you ever use a word or a phrase to answer a question ? A bog standard response that means so much yet covers a whole multitude of things? kitten does, its kitten is fine. This covers everything, no matter how kitten feels, kitten is fine usually works, its as if by saying this it will be true, and sometimes it works, sometimes no matter what kitten is thinking or feeling, she does end up ignoring or closing it away and she is fine, obviously other times it doesn't but hey thats life.
We all no matter who we are, slave,sub,Dom or Master or even a person in a vanilla relationship have times when life beats you down, take the other day for example, kitten swears she had every awkward customer on the planet in her shop and add to that the phone calls becasue the system in the other shops kept crashing and a staff member calling in sick as they were hung over and kitten had so many unslave like thoughts it was not funny, she was ready to commit hari kari on the next one who called for her to help them or to do something, so what did kitten do ? well she went outside and stood in the carpark and screamed, long and loud she screamed ( kitten usually likes to smash a plate or two when she is stressed, there is nothing like the sound of breaking pottery to ease the tension, trouble was kitten didn't have any with her ) that was one time that the answer kitten is fine was true, kitten felt so much better, releasing all that pent up stress and frustration was what was needed and as she could not speak to Master at that time to hear His calm voice she did the only other thing she knew that would work.
there are times in a saves life she needs the guidence of her Master, His job is to build her up, to give her the lessons she needs to cope with things when He is not around, and Master does, however there are times when we know we should listen to Him, know we should accept what He says but the things running in our heads are too strong, too confusing, this is the time that Master knows kitten needs Him more, He knows that she struggles with things at times, games played, things said and He is there for her, He is the voice of reason, His is the voice of a Master pointing things out to kitten, whether she wants to hear them or not, He does not give up on kitten nor does He condem her for not listning, He talks, and He talks and He talks and sooner or later His voice is the only one kitten hears, is the only one she listens to, His is the only opinion that she needs and she realises this
Life happens no matter what lifestyle you lead, the good thing about being a slave is you have a Master to guide you and keep you safe
We all no matter who we are, slave,sub,Dom or Master or even a person in a vanilla relationship have times when life beats you down, take the other day for example, kitten swears she had every awkward customer on the planet in her shop and add to that the phone calls becasue the system in the other shops kept crashing and a staff member calling in sick as they were hung over and kitten had so many unslave like thoughts it was not funny, she was ready to commit hari kari on the next one who called for her to help them or to do something, so what did kitten do ? well she went outside and stood in the carpark and screamed, long and loud she screamed ( kitten usually likes to smash a plate or two when she is stressed, there is nothing like the sound of breaking pottery to ease the tension, trouble was kitten didn't have any with her ) that was one time that the answer kitten is fine was true, kitten felt so much better, releasing all that pent up stress and frustration was what was needed and as she could not speak to Master at that time to hear His calm voice she did the only other thing she knew that would work.
there are times in a saves life she needs the guidence of her Master, His job is to build her up, to give her the lessons she needs to cope with things when He is not around, and Master does, however there are times when we know we should listen to Him, know we should accept what He says but the things running in our heads are too strong, too confusing, this is the time that Master knows kitten needs Him more, He knows that she struggles with things at times, games played, things said and He is there for her, He is the voice of reason, His is the voice of a Master pointing things out to kitten, whether she wants to hear them or not, He does not give up on kitten nor does He condem her for not listning, He talks, and He talks and He talks and sooner or later His voice is the only one kitten hears, is the only one she listens to, His is the only opinion that she needs and she realises this
Life happens no matter what lifestyle you lead, the good thing about being a slave is you have a Master to guide you and keep you safe
Monday, 19 January 2009
Time Drawing Closer
kitten is ashamed to admit, her feelings and thoughts got to her last night, things being done, the wrong thing said at the wrong time and yeap, kitten ran, she ran for her sanity, for her fears, and so she could not hear the next thing said, she was so scared what Master would say to her that she ran before she could hear it, and that is not acceptable.
Its been awhile since kitten ran last, she thought she was getting past that, the fear that causes her to close herself away, her need to 'regroup' and calm down, her need to leave and not listen to Master, something she knows she must do as He will never hurt her, hell He is one of the only ones that has never hurt her intentionally, and even when it was by accident, well He was as upset as kitten was, and if that doesn't show you what type of Man He is nothing will.
kitten knows her being with Master is something she craves and each day brings that time closer and closer, at the same time she knows there are problems and difficulties to be faced with others,as there are when ever a new one is added to the mix, but ultimatly it is Masters choice if kitten comes and there is nothing anyone can say or do to prevent that, all that rests on Masters shoulders, and it is His desire that kitten is there as much as it is kittens, serving a Master long distance is one thing, it is only when the real time is there can you truely feel the power of a Master, not just physical but mental and emotional as well, and many think they are prepared for a life of servitude after talking online or on the phone, sadly this is not always the case.
It has been said that kitten is a bad slave, she is sassy, a smart ass and cheeky, she is also prone to closing things inside and not sharing them, add that to her thoughts and confusion and its not wonder kitten needs a strong Master to serve, but no matter what others think of kitten it is Masters views and opinions that matter the most, and those are the ones she listens to,
kitten started to write this as a soon be with Master post, but as with all of kittens thoughts, one thing turns to another and so the thread has changed, in 87 days kitten will be with Master, just hope that is enough time for all the fears and worries, both kittens and others, to be put aside so all can learnt to accept and know that kitten has no wish to take anyone's place, kitten serves Master as Master wishes, in all ways it is always His choice what kitten does and doesn't do, she is a slave, she is Masters slave, she is Masters kitten
Its been awhile since kitten ran last, she thought she was getting past that, the fear that causes her to close herself away, her need to 'regroup' and calm down, her need to leave and not listen to Master, something she knows she must do as He will never hurt her, hell He is one of the only ones that has never hurt her intentionally, and even when it was by accident, well He was as upset as kitten was, and if that doesn't show you what type of Man He is nothing will.
kitten knows her being with Master is something she craves and each day brings that time closer and closer, at the same time she knows there are problems and difficulties to be faced with others,as there are when ever a new one is added to the mix, but ultimatly it is Masters choice if kitten comes and there is nothing anyone can say or do to prevent that, all that rests on Masters shoulders, and it is His desire that kitten is there as much as it is kittens, serving a Master long distance is one thing, it is only when the real time is there can you truely feel the power of a Master, not just physical but mental and emotional as well, and many think they are prepared for a life of servitude after talking online or on the phone, sadly this is not always the case.
It has been said that kitten is a bad slave, she is sassy, a smart ass and cheeky, she is also prone to closing things inside and not sharing them, add that to her thoughts and confusion and its not wonder kitten needs a strong Master to serve, but no matter what others think of kitten it is Masters views and opinions that matter the most, and those are the ones she listens to,
kitten started to write this as a soon be with Master post, but as with all of kittens thoughts, one thing turns to another and so the thread has changed, in 87 days kitten will be with Master, just hope that is enough time for all the fears and worries, both kittens and others, to be put aside so all can learnt to accept and know that kitten has no wish to take anyone's place, kitten serves Master as Master wishes, in all ways it is always His choice what kitten does and doesn't do, she is a slave, she is Masters slave, she is Masters kitten
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
Keys of a Slave
These are the keys of a slave
Faith... in your Master and all He does, faith in yourself to know that you are a good person and will do your best for Him always
Humility... to know that you are not perfect, not matter what you might think ultimatly you are not a perfect person
Respect.... For your Master and for your sisters but also you must have respect for yourself
Patience... You need patience to know that all things happen for a reason, you are a worthy person but at times you will be over looked and 'forgotten' about, have the patience to sit and wait until your time comes
Compassion... to know that the world does not revolve around you, your needs are not the most important ones, remove the Me, I and Mine from your vocabulary and open yourself up to feel for other people, to listen to them without it always being about you
Courage.... Have the courage to follow your dreams no matter how many times others try to discourage you or knock you down, Master is your strength, but you are strong as well
Perseverance.. to know that you will achieve your desires, no matter who stands in your way you will keep trying and trying, never give up on your dreams
Moving Closer, Still Worried
Another day crossed off kittens diary, another day closer, and as each day ends and another starts, kitten knows that the time is getting nearer, nearer till she is with Master, but that in itself is something not without its own problems and worries, it is something kitten longs for, something she needs but at the same time it is something kitten has many doubts and concerns about
Kitten has been told by Master certain things, yet told by another other things, and if kitten is honest she herself has preconcieved ideas, now if you add all these things together, yeap kitten has got no clue any more !
kitten not really sure why but she hasn't spoken to Master for days now, talked talked, and even these last few days the im chat has been sparse and broken with long gaps of silence, again kitten knows Master is busy but as the time difference is something that affects kitten and not others, she really wishes that would be remembered at times, all kitten can come up with is the fact she and her 'sister' are once more banging heads, this is nothing new and kitten is really not surprised to be honest, and that is something kitten worries about as well when she goes to Master, kitten does not want Master in the middle of any falling outs between slaves but she has a feeling that is not going to be her choice,
kitten got a call last night, she would have liked to have spoken to Master about it but He was busy, and to be fair, what could He have done ? the same as kitten really and that is nothing, the only difference is kitten didn't let it affect her as badly as the previous calls have done, but in one way it has, kitten knows there are emails waiting for her, offlines and demands, and kitten being the chicken she is won't log into those accounts as then shewill sit and read them, and when she is on her own, no matter how hard she tries, the words used soak into her head, the things said, the way she is spoken about, all of these things play games with her, and kitten not strong enough to ignore them 100% so little bits kitten lets into her life.
Well all kitten can say is that she will be with Master soon, now all she has to do is get it in her head this is what He wants as well, kitten knows He says it is but after the weekend and the chat dropping off and no talking, and the calls and the fights and the everything, then kitten not so sure to be honest, and even if He wans kitten there, she knows there is at least one other who doesn't and as that one is closer to Master, well kitten got a feeling she will have a very bumpy road ahead before she is with Master, and even then it will not be smooth sailing she thinks, even being there in person will open a lot of doubts and fears, and not only for kitten
Kitten has been told by Master certain things, yet told by another other things, and if kitten is honest she herself has preconcieved ideas, now if you add all these things together, yeap kitten has got no clue any more !
kitten not really sure why but she hasn't spoken to Master for days now, talked talked, and even these last few days the im chat has been sparse and broken with long gaps of silence, again kitten knows Master is busy but as the time difference is something that affects kitten and not others, she really wishes that would be remembered at times, all kitten can come up with is the fact she and her 'sister' are once more banging heads, this is nothing new and kitten is really not surprised to be honest, and that is something kitten worries about as well when she goes to Master, kitten does not want Master in the middle of any falling outs between slaves but she has a feeling that is not going to be her choice,
kitten got a call last night, she would have liked to have spoken to Master about it but He was busy, and to be fair, what could He have done ? the same as kitten really and that is nothing, the only difference is kitten didn't let it affect her as badly as the previous calls have done, but in one way it has, kitten knows there are emails waiting for her, offlines and demands, and kitten being the chicken she is won't log into those accounts as then shewill sit and read them, and when she is on her own, no matter how hard she tries, the words used soak into her head, the things said, the way she is spoken about, all of these things play games with her, and kitten not strong enough to ignore them 100% so little bits kitten lets into her life.
Well all kitten can say is that she will be with Master soon, now all she has to do is get it in her head this is what He wants as well, kitten knows He says it is but after the weekend and the chat dropping off and no talking, and the calls and the fights and the everything, then kitten not so sure to be honest, and even if He wans kitten there, she knows there is at least one other who doesn't and as that one is closer to Master, well kitten got a feeling she will have a very bumpy road ahead before she is with Master, and even then it will not be smooth sailing she thinks, even being there in person will open a lot of doubts and fears, and not only for kitten
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
As the time draws closer
Time is a wonderful thing, it moves so fast, yet it moves so slow as well, confused ? Well kitten is, but guess thats nothing new to anyone really.
Kitten is on a count down, she is counting the days till she is with Master, its been a journey of discovery for her, she has had many ups and downs along the way, but strangely enough, not really with Master, with herself and with others, and in that she still has to figure things out.
kitten speaks to Master and the smile on her face lets kitten knows she is safe, that is one of Masters favorite sayings, He lets kitten know she can be human and she can have what He calls kitten strops but ultimatly she is safe with Him, and you know what ? Kitten believes Him 100%.
Now kitten not saying Master does not get the urge to strangle her at times, as she is sure He must do, hell at times kitten would like to strangle herself ( if that makes any more sense than the rest of this post ) but no matter what is said or done, He does not scream or shout at her, and kitten knows at times she has pushed and pushed, she wanted Him to scream, to shout, to call her names, she needed to try to justify the hurt she was feeling through other things, transfer it if you like to a hurt caused by one she loves, but He refused, He called it abusive behaviour and will not do that to kitten, instead He talks to her, He asks her questions, He makes her think, He makes her feel and more imporantly He protects her from herself, and that is a hard job for any one to take on.
So kittens count down has begun, the time draws closer and closer to when she will be with Him, yet at the same time it is going so slow, kitten wants to be there now, she wants to be with Him, and not just in a sexual way, but in a way that is hard to explan, she wants to know He is in the next room, or in he yard, she wants to feel His presence in the air, even when He is out, she needs to know that she is His, to feel His aura surrounding her when He walks out of the door, stupid really but kitten wants to close her eyes and picture His smile, hear His laugh and know that she caused that, and she does make Him laugh, not intentionally but with kitten thoughts and words that leave her mind and mouth before she really thinks about them. ( and may He never read this, but yes she would even give Him willingly the cuddle she owes Him, long story and way to complicated to explain but kitten learnt a lesson, NEVER trade with a Master unless it is an iron cast trade, still got a few reservations about the pillows though )
kitten counts, and the hours and days drag by, but soon, very soon Master, kitten will be there and that is the day she is living for
Kitten is on a count down, she is counting the days till she is with Master, its been a journey of discovery for her, she has had many ups and downs along the way, but strangely enough, not really with Master, with herself and with others, and in that she still has to figure things out.
kitten speaks to Master and the smile on her face lets kitten knows she is safe, that is one of Masters favorite sayings, He lets kitten know she can be human and she can have what He calls kitten strops but ultimatly she is safe with Him, and you know what ? Kitten believes Him 100%.
Now kitten not saying Master does not get the urge to strangle her at times, as she is sure He must do, hell at times kitten would like to strangle herself ( if that makes any more sense than the rest of this post ) but no matter what is said or done, He does not scream or shout at her, and kitten knows at times she has pushed and pushed, she wanted Him to scream, to shout, to call her names, she needed to try to justify the hurt she was feeling through other things, transfer it if you like to a hurt caused by one she loves, but He refused, He called it abusive behaviour and will not do that to kitten, instead He talks to her, He asks her questions, He makes her think, He makes her feel and more imporantly He protects her from herself, and that is a hard job for any one to take on.
So kittens count down has begun, the time draws closer and closer to when she will be with Him, yet at the same time it is going so slow, kitten wants to be there now, she wants to be with Him, and not just in a sexual way, but in a way that is hard to explan, she wants to know He is in the next room, or in he yard, she wants to feel His presence in the air, even when He is out, she needs to know that she is His, to feel His aura surrounding her when He walks out of the door, stupid really but kitten wants to close her eyes and picture His smile, hear His laugh and know that she caused that, and she does make Him laugh, not intentionally but with kitten thoughts and words that leave her mind and mouth before she really thinks about them. ( and may He never read this, but yes she would even give Him willingly the cuddle she owes Him, long story and way to complicated to explain but kitten learnt a lesson, NEVER trade with a Master unless it is an iron cast trade, still got a few reservations about the pillows though )
kitten counts, and the hours and days drag by, but soon, very soon Master, kitten will be there and that is the day she is living for
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