kitten is ashamed to admit, her feelings and thoughts got to her last night, things being done, the wrong thing said at the wrong time and yeap, kitten ran, she ran for her sanity, for her fears, and so she could not hear the next thing said, she was so scared what Master would say to her that she ran before she could hear it, and that is not acceptable.
Its been awhile since kitten ran last, she thought she was getting past that, the fear that causes her to close herself away, her need to 'regroup' and calm down, her need to leave and not listen to Master, something she knows she must do as He will never hurt her, hell He is one of the only ones that has never hurt her intentionally, and even when it was by accident, well He was as upset as kitten was, and if that doesn't show you what type of Man He is nothing will.
kitten knows her being with Master is something she craves and each day brings that time closer and closer, at the same time she knows there are problems and difficulties to be faced with others,as there are when ever a new one is added to the mix, but ultimatly it is Masters choice if kitten comes and there is nothing anyone can say or do to prevent that, all that rests on Masters shoulders, and it is His desire that kitten is there as much as it is kittens, serving a Master long distance is one thing, it is only when the real time is there can you truely feel the power of a Master, not just physical but mental and emotional as well, and many think they are prepared for a life of servitude after talking online or on the phone, sadly this is not always the case.
It has been said that kitten is a bad slave, she is sassy, a smart ass and cheeky, she is also prone to closing things inside and not sharing them, add that to her thoughts and confusion and its not wonder kitten needs a strong Master to serve, but no matter what others think of kitten it is Masters views and opinions that matter the most, and those are the ones she listens to,
kitten started to write this as a soon be with Master post, but as with all of kittens thoughts, one thing turns to another and so the thread has changed, in 87 days kitten will be with Master, just hope that is enough time for all the fears and worries, both kittens and others, to be put aside so all can learnt to accept and know that kitten has no wish to take anyone's place, kitten serves Master as Master wishes, in all ways it is always His choice what kitten does and doesn't do, she is a slave, she is Masters slave, she is Masters kitten
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