Making Choices

As kitten sits here thinking, she knows that the time is moving faster, drawing closer to the time she can be where she needs to be, she says needs as at the moment she feels as if she is just filling time, she is alive but not living, if that makes sense, and she knows that for one of the few times in her life she is the one making the choices and that, to be perfectly honest, scares the life out of her.

Most of kittens adult life has been dictated by someone else and this time, while still being told what to do, kitten is the one responsible for the choice, and she is scared as so much of her life is now entwined with Master.

Can you imagine trusting someone enough to leave everything behind to be with them ? Can you picture yourself just walking away from everything so you can have the happiness Master says you deserve ? This is what kitten is doing and she does not know if she really deserves to be happy, and at what cost will her happiness be to her and to others ?

Most people want to be happy, kitten is no exception, the problem with kitten is she has got used to being content, there is a difference, to be happy involves more emotions and more feelings, to be content is easier, it means she is just that, content, she accepts what is her life and what it brings for her, she can move through the day without letting feelings and emotions give her a hope or glimpse of what she could have.

Making choices is something kitten hates to do, its something she is not used to and something she is scared she will get wrong, one of the good thing about being with Master is that she will not be making the choices, He will, and then she will know that it is the right decision