Life and the New Year

Sitting here thinking over the last few months its amazing how my life has changed, i am now working which is something i have wanted to do since i arrived her, unfortunatly circumstances made that a long drawn out process but finally with all things being worked out i am now employed and finding my feet in the land of the working. I will not lie and say its easy, i am finding it hard to do all the chores i need to do and work full time and still have the energy to interact with Master when i get home, and, bless Him, He is staying up later so we can have some time together.

I am tired all the time, a recent visit to the doctors informed me that my blood pressure is too low and i am anemic, and i have lost another 7lbs since my last visit * and trust me i am not trying to lose weight- add to that the test results that came back abnormal and them booking me in for a biopsy to decide what to do next and my stress levels and energy levels are not on the same rung of the ladder !!

The new year is here and with it a new chapter in my life, i know it will be full of ups and downs, i am not naive enough to believe it will all be sunshine and roses, it is life and as such it will take many twists and turns but i know if i am committed to living my life as His slave, to always striving to do my best then when the hard times hit i will be secure in the knowledge that He will support me and give me the protection and comfort i need.

Reflection Of Your Master

The other day i was at home cleaning and just doing the usual chores around the house when Master called and told me He had left some keys He needed in the drawer and could i bring them to His office so without thinking i got in the car and drove to His office. When i arrived at His office i waited in the car and text Him that i was there, now i have been in His office many times and met His co-workers so why did i not just take them in ? The reason was i was dressed in my 'cleaning clothes' - old faded jeans and a sloppy.

Master came out and collected the keys and looking at His watch He told me to hang around for a little while and then we would go to lunch together, i was in turmoil, i wanted to go to lunch with Him but i was not dressed to be seen in public with Him. Seeing the turmoil on my face He asked what was wrong and i told Him, i was not comfortable being out with Him dressed as i was, i am a reflection on Him not only in my behavior but in my attire as well and while i was dressed ok for cleaning i was in no way dressed to go to lunch with Him. Looking me over He said i was fine and the fact i was aware of my clothes and how i was dressed was a good thing, that He would not be concerned about it this once.

Dutifully i sat in the car for a little while as He finished up a meeting and when He had done He came out again and said He had a few calls to make, jumping on this i asked if it was possible for me to meet Him at the restaurant and go home to shower and change, that way i could go to work from lunch and save time for us both. He smiled and agreed, telling me that He understood how uncomfortable i was feeling.

I drove home, showered and dressed and met Him at the restaurant an hour later, dressed smartly and with my hair and make up in place.We had a lovely lunch, full of laughter and teasing and talking after which i went to work and He returned to His office.

The reason i am writing this is all to many times people forget they are a reflection on their Masters or Doms. Their attitude, their attire and their compliance to do things are all things that are reflected back onto their Masters. How much pride can a Master have in a slave who walks around Walmart in their pj's ? Or who attends a munch and spends the evening drawing attention to themselves with their loud and often bragging tirade about themselves ? Or who is given tasks to do and then spends a week moaning and bitching about how it will never work without even trying to complete it ?

We are a reflection of our Owners, we are a 'testiment' to them as Masters and Doms and how we carry ourselves and how we act are all parts of what a Master can take pride in, and i know that i for one want my Master proud of me. Remember that next time you go to the store, to a munch or even to lunch, how can a Master take pride in us if we are not taking pride in ourselves ?

Feeling 'Safe'

I here many people say that their collar gives them a sense of security and it helps to bring them closer to their Master or Dom and while my Master does not believe in a collar i also have something that i 'need' * for want of a better word * to give me the feeling of security and well being, especially if He is away or i am feeling lost or uncertain.

I have a set of handcuffs that i wear while i am in the house, as soon as i enter i am required to put them on and they stay on until i leave the house again, only to be worn again when i return. The cuffs are my 'safety net' they help me to focus and get things into perspective. I have recently started work again and in my job i am responsible for myself, my performance and my abilities cannot be dictated to me by my Master and i will admit i have been struggling to remove that 'independent streak' that i have had to have while working and so i have been finding it more and more difficult to get myself back into the space i need when i come home, yet as soon as the cuffs go on i feel the connection and the bond to Master, they help me to refocus my mind and know that i am only working because Master allows it, that i am a part of His life even if He is out with others, that no matter what the circumstances are in my life i am still His slave.

All too often things happen and i have no control over them, yet while i have my cuffs around my wrists i get the sense of well being, that things will be ok and this is just a bump in the road, maybe i am giving the cuffs too much power and the real growing and learning is coming from me, i don't know, all i know is that the cuffs are my security blanket at the moment and they are powerful in that they hold so much meaning for me.

I Am Kitten

This post has been deleted as people decided it was about them - in truth it wasn't it was something i wrote on one of my blogs a long time ago and just updated it, it was something that i was seeing over and over again on a certain friend site, people with multiple profiles and multiple personalities and how they were playing others in the rooms.

If the original post offened you i would like to ask you why ? is it because it somehow rings true about you ?

Trust and Faith in your Master

What is it about marks and bruises on my body that make me smile ? I am sitting here 'gingerly' as my back,legs,tits and belly as well as my pussy and thighs are a wonderful patchwork of crop,cane,belt and paddle marks, the bruises and welts a testiment to the pleasure i recieved at Masters hands last night.

I love the first strike, then as the scene progresses the 'burning' sensation that covers me, and if Master is concentrating on one area the sharp pain which turns to a hot ache as that area is struck repeatedly, yet as i lay there with my eyes closed and my hands bound i have no fear, i know deep inside that He will not hurt me and that sounds really weird as this Man is paddling me and whipping me hard enough to leave welt marks and raised skin, to bring the blood to the surface and almost cause it to flow but fear is never an emotion i think of in association with Him

I have at times made Him so cross that He is in my face shouting at me, He has banished me from His sight, He has walked away from me to calm Himself down yet still i did not fear for my safety.

The faith and trust a slave puts in her Master, regardless of whether she is one who enjoys paddling or not is one of the basic foundations of this lifestyle, she has to trust that He will keep her safe and not hurt her, she has to have faith that even during the hight of play He will be in control enough to know what is enough for her, she is putting her life in His hands and she needs to believe that He will always do His best to protect and guide her, without the basic trust and faith in her Master these simple things become a struggle for the slave, she will have doubts and fears that unless she believes in Him 100% will not leave her and so taint the whole relationship.

People in any form of relationship need these basic foundations, but they are more important in a BDSM M/s relationship as there is an element of 'danger' in the play times, the whips and canes can do real damage to a person and unless you have complete faith in your Master you will not allow yourself the freedom to explore all that this lifestyle can hold.

Sitting here i can feel the slight sting of some of the marks, my smile playing on my lips as i wonder if they will be faded enough for the doctors visit on friday, chuckling at the expression on his face as he sees the bruises, wondering how i am ever going to explain the pleasure i felt while recieving them and knowing in my mind that the doctor would never understand.
r

With Masters Permission

When you are at school the teachers tell you that we are all equal, that we all have the same rights and that no one is better than anyone else. Most schools now days have done away with the sports days, as they believe that promoting awinning attitude is wrong for those less able, that by not winning you are in some ways damaging the self esteem of the 'loser'.

In a M/s relationship there is no equality, the 'power' lies with the Master, a slave is given certain 'rights' as deemed by her Master but those rights are subject to change - she misbehaves and privledges are removed until she has learnt her lesson, if indeed she does learn a lesson. Telling your Master sorry doesn't work, in most cases it is a word, and actions need to be shown so that the Master knows that indeed you are sorry and maybe - just maybe - those privledges removed might be reinstated.

There are many things that some people do not understand about the power exchange, it covers ALL of the slaves actions, for example i am not allowed to im with anyone without His permission, no permission no im ing - its that simple, the same goes for visiting others, i ask for permission and if it is denied then i do not go, this is M/s and the power exchange in action. There are times when He tells me what i am allowed to wear, or indeed if i am allowed to wear anything, this is His right. If i am putting on weight * and as i am quitting smoking and sucking cinnamon sweets like they are going out of fashion this is a real possibility*He will tell me to diet, if my hair is too long He will tell me to cut it, all these things and more are His right and i am to do as instructed because He is Master and when i submitted to Him i gave Him 100% control over my life and what i do or not do.

I have read that some slaves 'pounce' on their Master when they want sex, lol i can just imagine my Masters face if i did that, !!! that to me is 'Domming' it is not my choice when or if we have sex, it is His, and that is how it is meant to be, the same as with the paddle, i really don't like it on the back of my knees, no real reason why i don't like it there but Master knows this and while most of the time He doesn't use the crop or cane there He can and will if the mood takes Him, again it is His choice not mine as to what happens and how.

M/s is a relationship that is similar to every other one, it has all of the things you will find in a 'vanilla' relationship with the exception of the power division, this is the main thing that makes it different, and the one thing that a lot of people struggle with, it is an all or nothing relationship and not one that you can play at on monday but not on tuesday - you are either in the relationship 100% or you are not.

There are things in life that can cause a slave to struggle and that is where the bond with her Master comes in, it is His job to try to aliviate the struggles, to help her with any issues that she might have but at the same time it is the slaves job to make His life easier and not burden Him with things that are trivial and of no real importance. A good Master teaches His slave to identify problems that are real and take those to Him while at the same time either deal with the silly issues herself or ignore them.

The M/s relationship is a complicated one to many people but in reality it does not need to be, it is the same as everything else in life, it is only as difficult as people make it, go with your instincts, be true to yourself and your feelings, build the bond between you and your Master and be safe in the knowledge that He will protect you when needed.

Changes