Trust and Faith in your Master

What is it about marks and bruises on my body that make me smile ? I am sitting here 'gingerly' as my back,legs,tits and belly as well as my pussy and thighs are a wonderful patchwork of crop,cane,belt and paddle marks, the bruises and welts a testiment to the pleasure i recieved at Masters hands last night.

I love the first strike, then as the scene progresses the 'burning' sensation that covers me, and if Master is concentrating on one area the sharp pain which turns to a hot ache as that area is struck repeatedly, yet as i lay there with my eyes closed and my hands bound i have no fear, i know deep inside that He will not hurt me and that sounds really weird as this Man is paddling me and whipping me hard enough to leave welt marks and raised skin, to bring the blood to the surface and almost cause it to flow but fear is never an emotion i think of in association with Him

I have at times made Him so cross that He is in my face shouting at me, He has banished me from His sight, He has walked away from me to calm Himself down yet still i did not fear for my safety.

The faith and trust a slave puts in her Master, regardless of whether she is one who enjoys paddling or not is one of the basic foundations of this lifestyle, she has to trust that He will keep her safe and not hurt her, she has to have faith that even during the hight of play He will be in control enough to know what is enough for her, she is putting her life in His hands and she needs to believe that He will always do His best to protect and guide her, without the basic trust and faith in her Master these simple things become a struggle for the slave, she will have doubts and fears that unless she believes in Him 100% will not leave her and so taint the whole relationship.

People in any form of relationship need these basic foundations, but they are more important in a BDSM M/s relationship as there is an element of 'danger' in the play times, the whips and canes can do real damage to a person and unless you have complete faith in your Master you will not allow yourself the freedom to explore all that this lifestyle can hold.

Sitting here i can feel the slight sting of some of the marks, my smile playing on my lips as i wonder if they will be faded enough for the doctors visit on friday, chuckling at the expression on his face as he sees the bruises, wondering how i am ever going to explain the pleasure i felt while recieving them and knowing in my mind that the doctor would never understand.
r

With Masters Permission

When you are at school the teachers tell you that we are all equal, that we all have the same rights and that no one is better than anyone else. Most schools now days have done away with the sports days, as they believe that promoting awinning attitude is wrong for those less able, that by not winning you are in some ways damaging the self esteem of the 'loser'.

In a M/s relationship there is no equality, the 'power' lies with the Master, a slave is given certain 'rights' as deemed by her Master but those rights are subject to change - she misbehaves and privledges are removed until she has learnt her lesson, if indeed she does learn a lesson. Telling your Master sorry doesn't work, in most cases it is a word, and actions need to be shown so that the Master knows that indeed you are sorry and maybe - just maybe - those privledges removed might be reinstated.

There are many things that some people do not understand about the power exchange, it covers ALL of the slaves actions, for example i am not allowed to im with anyone without His permission, no permission no im ing - its that simple, the same goes for visiting others, i ask for permission and if it is denied then i do not go, this is M/s and the power exchange in action. There are times when He tells me what i am allowed to wear, or indeed if i am allowed to wear anything, this is His right. If i am putting on weight * and as i am quitting smoking and sucking cinnamon sweets like they are going out of fashion this is a real possibility*He will tell me to diet, if my hair is too long He will tell me to cut it, all these things and more are His right and i am to do as instructed because He is Master and when i submitted to Him i gave Him 100% control over my life and what i do or not do.

I have read that some slaves 'pounce' on their Master when they want sex, lol i can just imagine my Masters face if i did that, !!! that to me is 'Domming' it is not my choice when or if we have sex, it is His, and that is how it is meant to be, the same as with the paddle, i really don't like it on the back of my knees, no real reason why i don't like it there but Master knows this and while most of the time He doesn't use the crop or cane there He can and will if the mood takes Him, again it is His choice not mine as to what happens and how.

M/s is a relationship that is similar to every other one, it has all of the things you will find in a 'vanilla' relationship with the exception of the power division, this is the main thing that makes it different, and the one thing that a lot of people struggle with, it is an all or nothing relationship and not one that you can play at on monday but not on tuesday - you are either in the relationship 100% or you are not.

There are things in life that can cause a slave to struggle and that is where the bond with her Master comes in, it is His job to try to aliviate the struggles, to help her with any issues that she might have but at the same time it is the slaves job to make His life easier and not burden Him with things that are trivial and of no real importance. A good Master teaches His slave to identify problems that are real and take those to Him while at the same time either deal with the silly issues herself or ignore them.

The M/s relationship is a complicated one to many people but in reality it does not need to be, it is the same as everything else in life, it is only as difficult as people make it, go with your instincts, be true to yourself and your feelings, build the bond between you and your Master and be safe in the knowledge that He will protect you when needed.

This Life and All it Brings

When i got up this morning i felt the need to write something, so many things going around in my head, and most of the time when i write them down it helps me but for some reason this time there are so many things that i am finding it hard to sort them out properly and that just makes things worse as they are all tangled together and i can't sort them out.

I am missing my son, i knew things would be hard when i moved to be with Master but its the little things i am having a tough time dealing with, today he goes back to school, who will make sure he is collected on time, who will make sure his TA is there waiting for him, who will make sure the lessons he is taking are the right ones, who will be his voice when they decide to push him to far and he ends up in danger * and it does happen, many times* So many things i have done and now i am too far away to make sure they get done so i am feeling lost, as if i have no purpose in his life any more.

I am also questioning things about myself, something Master said about my sister and i not being slaves and he is going to demote us to subs until we refocus our minds onto what is really important, that hurt, i know there are times i make him mad but most of our arguments are not actually about me, and that is the worst thing, i can be 'demoted' if its something i am doing wrong, and i accept that, but when its not about me then thats not fair, but He decides what is fair, so many times i want to shout and scream and stamp my foot but there is no point, it will not achieve anything apart from me being punished.

I am learning to deal with things myself and not to share them with Master, He is always busy with others that what i say is sort of lost and so there is no point, i know this is wrong but when He is being 'hammered' on all sides He is just a man and as such He can only deal with so much at a time and regardless of what others think He is not a never ending support system, even He needs support at times and that i can give Him by not burdening Him even more with my problems.

So many people think that being a slave is all sunshine and roses, they fail to see the bigger picture, the actual ' living' part of being a slave, it is not all sex and bondage and wild times, it is life and all that it brings, and when a slave brings 'baggage' into the mix it just adds to the problems everyone faces, add to that a poly type relationship and more problems are faced by all, i sometimes wonder if people really know what this life is about, it is a wonderful way to live but it is also one of the hardest, and only those who are committed, and that applies to the Masters as well as the slaves, will survive, it is a relationship and it is a lifestyle, unfortunatly there are so many blogs and posts out there that make it seem like a polly anna type deal, they are so very wrong

Serving A Masters Needs

When you are involved in a M/s relationship, especially a poly relationship, then there are many ways you can serve your Masters needs. Some slaves are house slaves, taking care of the cooking, cleaning, laundry and general well being of their Master, some are sex slaves, taking care of His sexual needs and desires and some are used in other areas of His life to help make things run smoothly for Him in what ever capacity has been agreed upon when you submitted.

So what happens when one gets ill ? Who will take care of that area of His life ?

In a poly relationship another sister * slave* will pick up the 'slack' * for want of a better word* to help out, whether that is something they are primarily used for in their Masters life or not they should want to help out as in doing so their Master will still be cared for and looked after - be it offering to do the laundry or cooking a few meals to bring around to the house * if they do not all live together* this is a way they can help their Master and at the same time their family.

A poly relationship is something not everyone can live in, it can and often is trying for the Master and the slaves but when it works it can also be something a slave can draw strength from and companionship, it can give them a helping hand when one is ill and unable to do the tasks set out for them, thus ensuring that the Master is still able to concentrate on what He needs to.

Questions

At Masters request today kitten spoke to a Domme that Master had been conversing with and to say the conversation was 'enlightning' is putting it mildly.

After saying hello and commenting on kitten talking in the third person her first question to kitten * remember kitten had not spoke to this person before* was
" Would you mind your Master using me in front of you as that will happen if we meet"

Hhhmmm to say kitten was surprised is putting it mildly - kitten is a slave and this person a Domme, and as a slave it is not kittens choice or place to either mind or not mind, it is Masters and as a Domme this is something kitten had assumed that she would know.

So that led her to question what type of things Master likes and dislikes, again that is not kittens place to answer for Master, she can say what SHE likes * kitten that is* and what she doesn't like very much but to answer for Master ? nope not kittens place as how is kitten to know whether He likes something with other slaves that He does not like with kitten ?

So now kitten is processing things in her head, things that she had thought were standard practices, the knowledge that a sub/slave has no choice in who her Master plays with and when, the belief that a Dom/Dommes Master or Mistress should have at least a basic grasp of what a sub or slaves place is and indeed the understanding that a sub or slave does not answer for her Master unless told to give out certain information if they are asked.

The conversation went on to her telling kitten all about her past experiences and how she has no limits and so on and so forth and by the end of the conversation kitten was really confused, was this Domme a switch ? was she a Domme but really wanted Master * and with all respect kitten knows Master is a hunk and there are many who do want Him and not just as a Master but as a man as well* or was she just looking to impress with her knowledge of certain parts of BDSM and really only making things up ?

There are some things a Master/Mistress Dom or Domme should know insinctivly if they are serious about this life, but that is just kittens opinon and maybe she is wrong and judging someone on her own beliefs, time will tell ................

In Charge

Do you remember when you were a child and you were told to do something you didn’t want to ? Like cleaning your room or going to see relatives when all you wanted to do was go out with your friends ? The feeling of having no control over your life and what you were being told to do was great, and in some ways the M/s and to a lesser extent the D/s relationship is very similar. Kitten has just read a great article describing this better than she ever could,*here* but it did get her thinking, she knows there are times when Master is teasing her that she tells Him “ No way Batman” or “ Dream on He who must be Obeyed” but this is different, during the teasing kitten is not actually refusing Him anything as W/we B/both know if He wanted something then kitten would do it and do it with a feeling of want as He has asked for something * and no it need not be sexual, it can be anything from getting Him a drink to pleasing Him*
However we all get times when we really don’t want to do something, for what ever reason we try to change things so we have the controlling hand. An example of this was the other night, kitten was told to do something, and she didn’t want to as she had got herself into a funk and it seemed as though she was struggling with things on her own, so when she was told to perform the task she replied “ kitten would rather not” Well this led to a few questions which kitten again tried not to answer so she started to perform the task first asked, this did not go down well, Master pulled her up and refused to let her do what she now wanted to do, * ok so kitten doesn’t take much persuading to do certain things * And after close questioning and kitten being allowed to speak freely * this means that anything said will not be used against her and she is allowed to talk freely about what is on her mind*, Master saw things from kittens point and He apologised * A true Master is one who is never afraid to admit to making errors in judgement, something people should be aware of*
Now the above might not make sense and it might seem that kitten was trying to control things, and if you read it again you will probably see that in some ways she was, she was trying to control herself, trying to say she didn’t want to do something but ultimately she was going to do it as it had been asked of her, and she knows that was wrong.
So what should she have done ? Well first off she should have spoken to Master BEFORE she got herself so worked up that she could not see the wood for the trees, she should have gone to Him and asked to speak, but this is another lesson she is learning, the one where she has to accept that Master CAN help her and that she need not do everything on her own, the lesson that she can depend on Him. And she is also learning that when Master tells her to do something then she does it, the majority of the time it is with a great big smile on her face and for the few times its not, then those are the times that she knows she is pleasing Master by doing as asked of her as a slave should do. Any task set by a Master is one a slave should under take to the best of her ability and not just when it suits her.

Do You Know Me

Do You know me?
Do You wish to ?
Do You know my thoughts
What things run through my head
Do You know my fears
What makes me doubt the most
Do You know my strongest desires
What makes me yearn the most
Do You know what makes me smile
What makes me laugh with joy
Do You know what makes me sad
What makes me weep in pain
Do You know my dreams
What goals in life i strive for
Do You know my inner passions
What makes me feel alive
Do You know how much i crave
What my cravings are
Do You know my past
What makes me who i am
Do You know my future
What will make me who i wish to be
Do You know my preferences
What makes me ache the most
Do You know my tastes
What things i love to hear
Do You know Me
Do You wish to ?

kittens thoughts

Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.

~ Tom Clancy

Living is the constant adjustment of thought to life and life to thought in such a way that we are always growing, always experiencing new things in the old and old things in the new. Thus life is always new.

~ Thomas Merton

Safe

Curled into myself
Trying desperately to close my thoughts away
Needing to run, to hide, to shut down for awhile
Till I have control of my thoughts once more
Silent tears falling, voices in my ears
Telling me I am worthless, telling me the truth
Hearing the words inside my head
Knowing they are lies yet believing them as truths

His voice breaks through my darkness
I try to turn away
I need to keep my distance, I cannot let Him near
His hand reaches out for me, His voice so soft yet clear
Take My hand and let me help you
Let Me take this pain from you
Trust in your Master my kitten
Trust I will always help you

Slowly my hand reaches for His
My rock in this cold dark place
His voice replacing the other ones
His words not cruel like theirs
Gently He talks to me
Softly His reasoning breaks through
His strength wrapped around me
Feeling safe within His protection

Starting to panic, not used to the love or care
Struggling to pull away, needing to fight for myself
I can’t close down, I can’t shut off, panic setting in
I need to lash out, I need to run, I need to go away
I hide my thought, I hide my fears, I cannot leave them here
Twisting in His arms, I try to pull away
I’m scared, so scared, please let me go
I need to protect myself, not let anyone too close

His arms tighten around me, His strength seeps through
Holding me tight He will not let go, His body taking my tears
Your safe with Me, never doubt that My kitten, this is where you belong
No more running, no more hiding, unless you run to Me
Take My strength, take all you need, I am strong enough for both
Let yourself be open, as you are only open to Me
You are home now, no more fear, this is how it will be
With all that I am I will protect you and keep you safe from harm