Scared of her Thoughts

Kitten has many thoughts running in her head, least of all the thought of not being enough, she knows she wrote in a previous post that she was worthy of Master but that was then and this is now, and although nothing has changed much the thought is in her head, and that scares her, she knows that left unattended the thoughts will take over, and that is another thing that worries her,

There are times when kitten can push the thoughts aside, she can stop them taking over her mind but there are also times when she can’t, damn reading this anyone would think kitten was a manic depressive, she isn’t normally but just lately things happen and kitten cannot control them, she doesn’t know what they are and kitten has a fear of the unknown, given her history this is understandable to some but as kitten is not prepared to go into details about previous Master and Dom then those who don’t know will be forgiven for thinking kitten is a nut job, she isn’t honestly, she is just scared.

Take last night, kitten was saying goodnight to Master and He said something, something small, about kitten learning and being smart and catching on what Master is doing with kitten, and she panicked, she knows Master will not hurt her, she has complete trust in Him both mentally and physically but she now doubts herself, is she smart enough to learn the lesson, what is the lesson, what if its something kitten can’t do, kitten then moves her thinking to other things, things that scare her bad, and if you add to that a few calls and complete silence from those kitten needs to talk to them the thoughts and fears now have a firm grip, and in this frame of mind kitten can’t shut them away, they are talking over too much so she needs to not talk to Master today, not until she gets things in her safe place, where she can close them away, she will know they are still fears and doubts but they are safe in there until things get so bad she can’t think straight anymore, then its kitten melt down time, not a safe place to be for any one