Questions

At Masters request today kitten spoke to a Domme that Master had been conversing with and to say the conversation was 'enlightning' is putting it mildly.

After saying hello and commenting on kitten talking in the third person her first question to kitten * remember kitten had not spoke to this person before* was
" Would you mind your Master using me in front of you as that will happen if we meet"

Hhhmmm to say kitten was surprised is putting it mildly - kitten is a slave and this person a Domme, and as a slave it is not kittens choice or place to either mind or not mind, it is Masters and as a Domme this is something kitten had assumed that she would know.

So that led her to question what type of things Master likes and dislikes, again that is not kittens place to answer for Master, she can say what SHE likes * kitten that is* and what she doesn't like very much but to answer for Master ? nope not kittens place as how is kitten to know whether He likes something with other slaves that He does not like with kitten ?

So now kitten is processing things in her head, things that she had thought were standard practices, the knowledge that a sub/slave has no choice in who her Master plays with and when, the belief that a Dom/Dommes Master or Mistress should have at least a basic grasp of what a sub or slaves place is and indeed the understanding that a sub or slave does not answer for her Master unless told to give out certain information if they are asked.

The conversation went on to her telling kitten all about her past experiences and how she has no limits and so on and so forth and by the end of the conversation kitten was really confused, was this Domme a switch ? was she a Domme but really wanted Master * and with all respect kitten knows Master is a hunk and there are many who do want Him and not just as a Master but as a man as well* or was she just looking to impress with her knowledge of certain parts of BDSM and really only making things up ?

There are some things a Master/Mistress Dom or Domme should know insinctivly if they are serious about this life, but that is just kittens opinon and maybe she is wrong and judging someone on her own beliefs, time will tell ................

What is kitten ?

When you read some of the posts and blogs out there, a question that is asked many times is what is a slaves role, what happens after the scene or the sex, when normal life is what surrounds you and you are left alone in a house with your Dom or Master, what then ? What do you do ? Sit in separate rooms ? Chat across a table at meal times only ? Ignore each other until the time He wants to use you again?

Kitten thinks if that was the case, there would be a lot of unhappy Doms and Masters out there, as well as subs and slaves, this might be M/s or D/s but it is still life and that would be pretty boring if there was no interests to hold you together on those quiet times, the times that everyone needs at times. Kitten has learnt some of Masters ‘moods’ she knows when to be quiet and not disturb Him, she knows when He wishes to ask her something or say something He will, and as kitten is happy within herself she is also happy with those quiet times, they are times to reflect on her life and to wonder how she got so lucky.

There are times when Master talks to her and to be honest kitten has no idea what He is speaking about, well that was then, at the moment Master is teaching kitten two separate things, not about BDSM, but these are things that interest Him and so kitten wants to learn, and she is, kitten knows she is not the smartest person but still He is not giving up on her, this to kitten means a lot as usually in the past kitten was not ‘taught’ anything except how to please sexually, but as kitten said, after the sex there is life, and knowing how to give your Master a blow job is good during a scene but what good does it do you in holding down a conversation ?

So what is a slaves place in her Masters life ? To kitten it is to be what He decides, when He decides, a slut when He wants her to be, silent when He needs her to be, a home maker, and no not in that way, but in the way of taking care of His basic needs, cooking washing etc, and being able to hold a conversation when He wants to talk to her.

Kitten is a slave, she is what Master wants her to be when He wants her to be, and that is something she is very happy being, Masters kitten

Expectations

Many subs or slaves become interested in this life, they then find a Dom or Master and they submit, nothing wrong with that at all, the trouble and problems start when they come into this life with expectations, they have a ‘vision’ of what this life will be like, what they will receive from it and how it will fulfil their lives, unfortunately in almost 90% of those cases the expectations are very wrong.


This is a wonderful life if it is one you are suited to, and if kitten is honest it is not something for everyone, they can incorporate certain parts into their everyday lives but the actual M/s or D/s relationship beyond a scene or playing is not for everyone, this is something that needs to be recognised straight away.
There should be no expectations on a sub or slaves behalf, as if she has them then the focus is on her and not her Master, its what she wants and what she is expecting, this leads to feelings of dissatisfaction, of wanting more, of thinking she deserves better than she is receiving, these feelings are more prominent in a poly relationship especially if the slave sees another getting more attention for what ever reason.


The needs of a slave are met by a Master, BUT they are what He thinks she needs not what she thinks she deserves, there is a big difference between a need and deserving something. If a sub or slave goes into certain situations expecting things to happen in a specific way and they don’t she then suffers feelings of loss and disappointment, whose fault is that ? Not the Masters as the slave is trying to predict what is going to happen, she is building herself up for certain things that she thinks she deserves, things she think are her right as His slave and if the don’t occur then she is the one who is going to have her expectations dashed. For example, if a sub or slave is always spanked in the evening for instance and then all of a sudden the Master starts to cuddle her instead, the slave can feel a sense of disappointment if she has been looking forward to a spanking, the same as if she is cuddled in the morning and all of a sudden He does not do that, who is at fault ?


Another instance is time spent with a slave, and this is one that kitten sees all the time and one she admits to saying to Master a few times. A slave deserves time with Master, but does she ? Who is kitten to tell Master what she deserves ? kitten loves her time with Master, its kittens time when she can talk to Him, tell Him things that have been worrying her and its the time she looks forward to as it strengthens the bond between Master and kitten but this is not something kitten deserves, nor is it something she has a right to expect, it is Masters choice who He spends His time with and how He spends it, and while kitten might love the interactions, she is not calling the shots Master is, but at the same time kitten knows she can go to Master with a problem and He will help her, that is the difference between expectations and a need.


A sub and slave should know that her needs are going to be met by her Dom or Master, He will care for and protect His property, He will ensure her well being and He will be her teacher and mentor, He is not however responsible for her hopes and expectations,

kittens list

Once more kitten sits here, she wants to write about her day yet for some reason the words will not flow, lol and those who know kitte know that is usually not a problem for her at all !

kitten started her 5 things this morning, one of them is to write down all that she is thinking, her fears, doubts and worries, all this on one side of the page and then all the positive things on the other side, no matter what they concern kitten writes them down, and then she leaves them and gets a coffee * everything is always better with a coffee in your hand * Return to the list 10 minutes later, and read it, add things if needed but more importantly take each thing one at a time and read it, really read it and then ask yourslf questions * ok this is where people might think kitten is strange, but if you have a worry about something, Why does it worry you ? what will be the worst that can happen ? see where kitten is going with this ? *

One of the things that kitten is/was worried about was meeting Master in the flesh for the first time, was she going to disappoint Him ? Well that went on kittens list, and after reading it, and then re reading it kitten came to the answer......... NO she wasn't going to be a disappointment to Him. See the way kitten is looking at it now, she was good enough for Master to talk to in the beginning, and she is good enough for Him to talk to now. Master knows more about kitten than kitten does at times * He is a smart Man * kitten will not profess to be perect, * lol ask Master, she is wayyyyyyyyy from that with all her no's and hell no's * but kitten tries, and that Master knows and kitten thinks He is proud of her for that, add to that the laughter and the fun that kitten has with Master, well would He tease and torment kitten if she was not good enough for Him ? kitten thinks not

Master is no ones fool, He will not settle for second best in anything He does or in anyone He owns, that and that alone tells kitten she is good enough for Master, and kitten knows she is not second best any more, she is Masters kitten, something to be really proud of and something to hold close to her as she crosses that off her list.