kittens Feelings

Time is moving, it is drawing slowly and slowly closer, this coming week will be a bad one for kitten as she is working long hours all week, this in turn means her time with Master will be less, not His fault, it is just how it works out, the others He owns are in the same time zone, kitten is not, so when she wants to spend time with Him it is hard for Him as others want to as well, kitten stays up until 2am her time, but this is something she does as she has a need to be with Master and this is the only way she can at the moment, this is as it is, soon she will be with Him and that in itself brings many things to kittens mind, thoughts she does not want to answer or have in her head.

What if kitten is not good enough for Master ? What if He doesn’t like kitten ? What is outside interference make things too hard for kitten to cope with ? Where will she run to ? How can she hide away inside herself if Master can actually see her face ? What can she do when things become too much for her ?

Kitten is used to dealing with her problems herself, she has been told off more than a few times by Master for not coming to Him when things were running around in her head, jumbling up and making her have more doubts, more fears, more concerns. Kitten knows she is not the most confident of people, she listens to others too much, she allows their words to break her down, its something Master is working on, He is trying to build kittens esteem, and it works for awhile, unfortunately things then take over and she crumbles, she breaks and is back where she started, only this time she is a bit further down, and the words said and things done are added to the pile she has hidden away. Kitten deals with things by shutting them away, she closes them off and unfortunately when she does that she invariably closes a bit more of herself away as well.

Kitten knows that soon she will be in Masters safety net, she will be loved and protected, she will be wanted by Master, that is all that matters, unfortunately she has to survive the coming days until she is there, and that is something she is afraid of, she really doesn’t know if she can survive