The cost Of This Life

There is an old saying, that everything is possible - but at a price and never more true than when you are looking into this lifestyle.

Many of your friends and family will say that all they want is your happiness, that as long as you are safe and free from harm then you should live your life as you see fit, and not to worry about them as they are fine. Well kitten is here to tell you that in the majority of the cases that is so far from the truth it is laughable

When kitten moved to Master she knew the cost to herself, it was something she and she alone would have to decide, not only was she moving away from all the things that were familiar to her, her family, her friends, her work and to some extent the 'safeness' of her life but she was also moving to another country where they drive on the wrong side of the road, they speak funny and don't understand kitten when she speaks, the money is so whacky its ridiculous at times trying to work out what things cost and that is just the normal everyday living, that does not include the journey that kitten is taking just by being with Master, the things she has to learn or unlearn as the case might be.

kitten has times when all the feelings of loss are overwhelming, when all she can think of is her family and friends, her need to speak to them, see them, touch them and it is at those times kitten tends to close down a bit, the choices that were made were made by kitten and no one else, Master supports kitten but would not tell her what to do with regard to making a choice, that was something He refused to do in that He knew that the feelings that kitten gets would have been directed at Him and unfairly so as well.

People love to tell you that they only want your happiness, what they fail to tell you is they want your happiness as long as it falls in with what they want you to do and that is something kitten is finding out the hard way, but if you were to ask her does she regret her desicion then the answer would be no not in the slightest as this is how kitten needs to live, she is where she needs to be and with whom she needs to be with BUT and heres the thing, ask her again if she believes that others want her happiness in everything she does and she will proberbly answer - if it suits their purpose.

In Hiding

This song is kittens life lately it seems, just can't get it out of her head, the lyrics are what is going on in kittens life at the moment, the question is, who is stronger ,... them or kitten ?? so until kitten has that answer, hiding is the best place for her

Bleeding Love

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, baby, baby

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep (keep) bleeding love (love)
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing (ooh)
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding (ah ah)
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love (ooh ooh)
Keep bleeding (oh ooh ooh)
Keep, keep bleeding love (love)
(Oh) you cut me open and I

Keep bleeding (ah ah)
Keep, keep bleeding love (yeah ah yeah)
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love (oh, I keep bleeding love)
Keep bleeding (I keep)
Keep, keep bleeding love (oh)
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

The Submissive

kitten loves this, the words are so powerful and meaningful

Struggling

ok i am not sure what is wrong with me, i seem to be really struggling
at the moment and i am not sure why, so many things going on in my life,
and its not making things easy for me, for some reason i just want to cry,
and that is not like me at all

even writing this, i am not kitten, this is not who she is, this is me
and is that the problem ? is it because i don't know who i am any more ?
i am getting grief from ex and daughter, well thats almost normal yet for some reason
it seems to be sitting hard on me, and then add to that the grief from friends and
old Doms, i guess its no wonder i am losing all sense of reasoning,

i am going to see Master soon and that is scaring me, why ? that i can't answer, it might be that my last master was ex, well master in that sense of the word, and look how that ended up, ok i know it was years down the line, and things happened to make it all fall apart but lets face it, with all the hostility i have been subjected to over the time i have been with Master its no wonder i am starting to struggle, not just from ex,family, friends and old doms but from others who think they know what is best for me, and this is without actually knowing me at all. Masters is the one who knows me, He is the one who has a controlling influence on my life yet there are still those who think they should be able to tell me what to do and what is going to happen to me, all this just add more and more to my already overflowing doubts and fears

when did things get so complicated ? why is nothing easy any more ? all i ever wanted to be was happy, and now i am so confused it seems happiness is a long way away for me.

Keys of a Slave

These are the keys of a slave

Faith... in your Master and all He does, faith in yourself to know that you are a good person and will do your best for Him always

Humility... to know that you are not perfect, not matter what you might think ultimatly you are not a perfect person

Respect.... For your Master and for your sisters but also you must have respect for yourself

Patience... You need patience to know that all things happen for a reason, you are a worthy person but at times you will be over looked and 'forgotten' about, have the patience to sit and wait until your time comes

Compassion... to know that the world does not revolve around you, your needs are not the most important ones, remove the Me, I and Mine from your vocabulary and open yourself up to feel for other people, to listen to them without it always being about you

Courage.... Have the courage to follow your dreams no matter how many times others try to discourage you or knock you down, Master is your strength, but you are strong as well

Perseverance.. to know that you will achieve your desires, no matter who stands in your way you will keep trying and trying, never give up on your dreams

Trust

A lot of this life is taken on trust, a sub/slave HAS to have complete trust in the One that owns her, her life is in His hands and as such He has the power to either enrich that life or destroy it, by the same token a Dom or Master has to have trust in those who serve Him, indeed He cannot accept submission from someone He doesn’t trust as this makes a mockery of all this life stands for.

At the same time a sister in a poly relationship needs to have trust in others within the family unit, she needs to know that those in that family are ones that will help and support her at times of stress and not turn a bad situation into one that will benefit herself, this involves a lot of trust on both parts and this is something that is not always there.

To submit to a Poly Master is something many say they have no problem with, however when they are greeted with one of their ‘sisters’ this can soon change, personality conflicts can sometimes sour what could be a good relationship, as can jealousy and a feeling of being slighted when things are said, especially if one is more experienced than another as is often the case. There are many times when the more experienced one is not the primary slave but this by no means gives the other the right to try to dictate actions to her, if she was to open her mind to the possibility that there is a lot to be learnt from another then the whole family unit can and more often does exist in harmony, something any Dom or Master wishes for.

A Dom or Master chooses those who serve Him for many reason, it is something that in all honesty only they will ever know but He chooses those He thinks will compliment each other, especially if He has wishes for them to ‘play ‘ and engage in many sexual activities together, again this is where trust comes in, you need to know for certain that you can trust a sister who is going to be inbetween your legs as they have teeth !! All joking aside, if you do not trust then you need to look at the reasons why, sometimes others versions of the truth are just that ‘ Their’ versions and not necessarily ones that are right, and by the same token if a sub/slave is all sweetness and light all the time, chances are she is a power keg waiting to go off and if you are not careful you might just be the intended victim.

To have trust in others you first need to trust yourself, and that starts with stopping pretending, stop acting as if you are perfect, no one is, we are all human and we all have hopes, wishes and desires, kitten tends to have more faith and trust in those who don’t lie to themselves as she has a feeling they are less likely to lie to others and trust cannot be built on lies.

Friendship

This was sent to kitten by someone who loves her dearly, she is worried about kitten and she thinks that kitten is dying bit by bit, all kitten can tell her is that kitten is kitten,all singing and all dancing, she will be fine and what will be will be, as with everything there is always a dark time in life that we need to travel to see the light, some travel faster than others but ultimatly we all reach the light,, take care my friend and know that kitten holds you in her heart and loves you so very much xx