Be True To Yourself

All to often we are drawn into the persona that a person projects of themselves, especially if they are ones we interact with online only. They can pretend to be whom ever they want to be, from the perfect slave who lives to serve her Master to a rocket scientist who was responsible for the latest launch, we take them at face value because we have no real way of knowing if what they are saying is true. We trust them to be honest with us as we are being honest with them.

When you have a preconceived idea of a person because of how they portray themselves online it makes things hard when you meet them in real time, the pretense is no longer able to be there, they have to be who they really are and if you spend time with them then their true nature comes out. This can and often is a shock as they are nothing remotely similar to what they have said they were.

All to often it is easy to become someone or something that you wish you were, this is apparent when a person has multiple profiles or user names on social sites, they 'swop' personalities when it suits them depending on who they are interacting with. A person can be a sub- a slave - a switch - hell just about anything they wish to be and along with that character they can also have the body of their dreams, the life that others can only envy and so much more.

To be true to yourself means that you are happy and content with WHO YOU REALLY ARE. I know my faults, i know my shortcomings and i also know my strengths and just who i am, that does not change. I go on certain sites and i am me, if you were to meet me in person i would still be the same, my body would still be slender, my hair shoulder length and my personality would be the same quirky, fun loving, loyal and faithful one it is now. I am who i am and that does not change because i am happy with who i am. I have no need to try to tell people i am everything they are hoping to be, i do not need to pretend to be something i am not.

All too often people do not like where they are in their lives and so they have to live a fantasy, this only works if you are not looking for more out of your life, if you are content to have only an online existence. I desire more, i deserve more and so i am who i am. The friends i have know and love me for being me, they are people i can count on in real time and they support me through all the times of stress and trouble as i support them.

Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, who are you really ? I can ask this because the answer for my is always the same ......... i am kitten - no more - no less - just me and that is good enough for me

Punishments

Punishments are used to correct behavior in a sub or slave, they are a method of teaching them that certain behavior is not acceptable and needs to be addressed and sometimes the manner in which it is addressed is by punishment.

A punishment should not be the first action a Dom or Master takes, they usually talk to the sub or slave and tell them what they are doing wrong, how they are displeasing their Owner, and steps are taken to correct the behavior but if this fails then obviously a punishment is needed and given. The form of punishment should always fit the 'crime' and should be something that the sub or slave does not like, there is no point caning a pain slut as all this will teach her is that if she screws up she is still going to get some pleasure when being punished.

HOWEVER ............... what if the sub or slave is doing as she is told ? What if last week she was told to do such and such and then when she does it the following week she is told it is wrong ? Who then is at fault ?

I can remember my mother telling me as she sent me to my room as a punishment that she was doing it because she cared and wanted me to learn from my actions, so is a Dom or Master when they punish their property just showing how much they care ? If that is the case then it stands to reason that an act that is not punished might mean that they do not care enought to try to correct the behavior surely ?

I really wish that there were some hard and fast rules for punishments, lol i have had more than my fair share of punishments, ranging from silence to being chained in a corner and all of them at the time i felt were unfair * still a few i think were unfair * but each time Master had a reason for the punishment * in His eyes, my version obviously differs at times * so i took the punishment and learnt from it, the action not to be repeated.

Are punishments affective ? Well for this one they are, they teach that certain behavior is not allowed, they show that He cares enough to try to alter my mindset and they reinforce my part in Masters life , i am His slave and the punishments He gives me are because of that

Collars

kitten was reading something the other day that got her thinking * lol and at 2am that is NOT good ! *
It was an artcle about collars and one persons view on them, well to be honest some of what she said made perfect sense to kitten and she will explain why.

A collar is a sign of commitment between the Dom/Master and sub/slave, it is a symbol of ownership and the desire to be owned. A collar is many different things to many different people, to kitten it is a sign of trust, honor, respect and integrity, it shows that she is owned and she has found her place in this life with her Master. The collar symbolizes the faith she has in Him to protect her and keep her safe from harm, it is her strength when He is not with her yet at the same time it is her comfort when things are looking bleak.

There are many people who do not believe in collars and that is their choice, it is something that is not 'essential' to this lifestyle, it is not the same as a wedding ring to pronounce you married, it is just something that some people do and some people do not believe in, that said when a collar is given it is given by the Dom/Master and placed around the sub/slaves throat.waist/wrist/ankle * a collar is not necissarily something that goes around the throat* It is the act of giving and recieving that makes a collar meaningful.

So what about online collaring ? How can a collar sent through the post or brought yourself be special ? It is the act of human contact and recieving the gift from your Master that gives the collar meaning otherwise it is just a bit of jewellry surely ?

There are times when a Dom/Master cannot be with the one they own but that just means the giving of the collar waits - a person cannot collar themself, it is not something that means anything when done in this way, * and kitten should know, been there done that as it was* So if you are collared online are you in fact collared at all ? is it not just a case of more online fantasies ? hhhmmm something to think about

kittens Journey

kitten, as you may have gathered, is going to visit Master, this is the first step in her being with Master, if things work out then kitten is hopefully going to be His kitten perminantly, this in itself will being with it more problems, but those kitten will deal with as they arise, she will do as she always does, take them one at a time and work her way through them,

kitten is the type of person who needs structure, she needs a routine, a list, a focus, she is really no good without the routine and structure in her life. kitten makes lists of things that need to be done, and one by one she checks them off the list, Master being a bugger to kitten loves to throw things at her, different tasks, adding some things taking others away, all things to try to make kitten more flexible, to not rely on her routine and lists all the time, He wants kitten to be confident in what she does and while He doen't mind her havine a routine He also wants her to be able to be confident in moving away from the list occasionally without panicing, not worked yet but He is not giving up.

kitten has many fears and doubts, she loves to help people, she gives advice and she talks to them, she will always be there for those who need her but kitten has a problem with telling others what is on her mind, she has found that it is not worth it, as most of the time it is not listened to and when it is it is turned around so she is the one who is found wanting as it was, so kitten tends to write on her notepad, and she keeps things to herself, this is something Master hates, He wants kitten to go to Him always, and she tries, but there are times kittens thought mix together and she can't seperate them so she stays quiet, maybe too quiet, but the one thing kitten knows is when she is finally in Masters arms and she feels safe and loved and protected she knows that all the problems that lead to her being there will be overcome, she will not worry about others insecurities or their doubts and fears, that will be for them to deal with, all kitten will know is that she if finally where she needs to be, where she wants to be and where she wants to stay

kittens Getting Closer

This is like christmas to kitten, you know when you are waiting for something, you know it will eventually arrive, but you are too impatient, well that is kitten now, she is like a child waiting for a special day, and that day is moving slowly closer, but way, way to slow for her liking.

So what is kitten waiting for ? Well to be with Master of course, now kitten is not sure if He is actually as excited as kitten, she doubts it somehow as Master is a realist and He knows time will move at its own pace but damn it kitten wants to be there now !!

lol ok kitten is impatient, but she has waited for this time for ages, all the stumbling blocks, all the grief, all the tears, now it is going to be over, it is going to be kittens time, kittens time to finally be happy as she thinks she deserves to be.

kitten knows that being with Master will not change things for T/them, T/they will still have the same rules * possibly more as being r/t enables some rules to be added * and she knows that it will not all be plain sailing, kitten a realist, but the one thing she knows without a doubt is that finally she can serve Master fully, she can be His kitten in any way He desires * just hope He is not expecting fanny cradock as kitten still reading the cook books *

The count down continues, and time goes so slow ..............................

As the time draws closer

Time is a wonderful thing, it moves so fast, yet it moves so slow as well, confused ? Well kitten is, but guess thats nothing new to anyone really.

Kitten is on a count down, she is counting the days till she is with Master, its been a journey of discovery for her, she has had many ups and downs along the way, but strangely enough, not really with Master, with herself and with others, and in that she still has to figure things out.

kitten speaks to Master and the smile on her face lets kitten knows she is safe, that is one of Masters favorite sayings, He lets kitten know she can be human and she can have what He calls kitten strops but ultimatly she is safe with Him, and you know what ? Kitten believes Him 100%.

Now kitten not saying Master does not get the urge to strangle her at times, as she is sure He must do, hell at times kitten would like to strangle herself ( if that makes any more sense than the rest of this post ) but no matter what is said or done, He does not scream or shout at her, and kitten knows at times she has pushed and pushed, she wanted Him to scream, to shout, to call her names, she needed to try to justify the hurt she was feeling through other things, transfer it if you like to a hurt caused by one she loves, but He refused, He called it abusive behaviour and will not do that to kitten, instead He talks to her, He asks her questions, He makes her think, He makes her feel and more imporantly He protects her from herself, and that is a hard job for any one to take on.

So kittens count down has begun, the time draws closer and closer to when she will be with Him, yet at the same time it is going so slow, kitten wants to be there now, she wants to be with Him, and not just in a sexual way, but in a way that is hard to explan, she wants to know He is in the next room, or in he yard, she wants to feel His presence in the air, even when He is out, she needs to know that she is His, to feel His aura surrounding her when He walks out of the door, stupid really but kitten wants to close her eyes and picture His smile, hear His laugh and know that she caused that, and she does make Him laugh, not intentionally but with kitten thoughts and words that leave her mind and mouth before she really thinks about them. ( and may He never read this, but yes she would even give Him willingly the cuddle she owes Him, long story and way to complicated to explain but kitten learnt a lesson, NEVER trade with a Master unless it is an iron cast trade, still got a few reservations about the pillows though )

kitten counts, and the hours and days drag by, but soon, very soon Master, kitten will be there and that is the day she is living for

Kinky ?

Keeping Quiet is the best thing

There are times in life when all you want to do is rewind and cancel a previous day, and kitten wants to do that, she wants to delete last night and take back the conversations she had with her Master about things that are worrying her. Kitten spoke to Master at His insistence and she was honest and truthful, she explained as best she could about certain things that were bothering her, this was done in her time, a time when she should be allowed to speak freely with no come back unless she steps over the line as it was, which she didn’t think she had but now it seems she must have as Master hardly spoke to her at all the next day, even leaving early which is something He rarely does.

Kitten knows the subject spoken about was one they had discussed before and the problems were not new ones, so maybe He was annoyed that kitten had not moved on from them but if kitten is to be with Master as is the desire of us B/both then they need to be sorted out as it is the main stumbling block in kittens hope for serving Master fully.

The non speaking of Master just topped kittens day off, when she had a problem with certain things on her blog page she was made to feel stupid by another, this made kitten mad but she kept quiet, she bit her tongue, guess she should have done that when Master told her to say what was wrong, what her doubts were, sometime saying things is not the best way, sorting out your problems on your own is, see kitten is not a cuddle and touch type of person, in this life that is not the M/s way, especially with Master, He is not a ‘touchy feely’ type of person which is something kitten understands and doesn’t mind, however kitten does like to be spoken to at times especially if W/we are B/both online for hours at a time.

So what has kitten learnt ? To keep quiet and not speak when things are running through her head, the results are not worth it, kittens problems she will have to learn to work out by herself, no matter what the problem, kitten does not like being made to look stupid and she doesn’t like the results of saying what is bothering her. Kitten is kitten, all singing and all dancing and she will survive this and more she is sure, maybe a bit more uncertain and a bit more doubtful but kitten is nothing if not smart, she learnt a lesson, and that lesson was silence is the best way when things are going wrong, the only one to help kitten is kitten.

Thinking

As kitten sits here thinking of what to write she starts to think about things that have affected her life in one way or another, there are things in everyone’s life that have an effect on them, whether meaningful or negative, its up to the individual how they perceive these events.


Kitten knows she is outspoken at times, she is too honest at times and as such she sees things that effect her and so she reacts, this is wrong, but kitten, apart from being a slave is also a person and as such she has feelings and emotions, maybe too many, who knows, but that is part of who she is.


There are times when kitten knows she needs to walk away from a situation, to ignore things said and done, is she mature enough? Sometimes she is and at others she isn’t, this is a fault of hers, and one she tries hard to improve on but as with all things she has lapses and its those lapses that hurt people around her, something she doesn’t wish to do but its the old mentality, striking back and defending.
So what do you do in that situation? Well the best thing to do would be to walk away, to turn the other cheek and not let them affect her, in the ideal world everyone who kitten interacts with would be mature and self assured enough to take another’s point of view, but again this is not something that is possible, as long as there are two people with minds and brains there will be two people with views they think are right. If someone says something that you don’t like, something you disagree with then walk away, ignore and not take any notice, if they wish to take it further then they are the ones who are going to look stupid in the end, as it will only make them look petty and vindictive.


Problems are with us in ever step of our lives, its the way we deal with them that make us the people we are, and kitten dealt with her problem badly, again it takes a big person to admit they were wrong in their reactions.

Trust

A lot of this life is taken on trust, a sub/slave HAS to have complete trust in the One that owns her, her life is in His hands and as such He has the power to either enrich that life or destroy it, by the same token a Dom or Master has to have trust in those who serve Him, indeed He cannot accept submission from someone He doesn’t trust as this makes a mockery of all this life stands for.

At the same time a sister in a poly relationship needs to have trust in others within the family unit, she needs to know that those in that family are ones that will help and support her at times of stress and not turn a bad situation into one that will benefit herself, this involves a lot of trust on both parts and this is something that is not always there.

To submit to a Poly Master is something many say they have no problem with, however when they are greeted with one of their ‘sisters’ this can soon change, personality conflicts can sometimes sour what could be a good relationship, as can jealousy and a feeling of being slighted when things are said, especially if one is more experienced than another as is often the case. There are many times when the more experienced one is not the primary slave but this by no means gives the other the right to try to dictate actions to her, if she was to open her mind to the possibility that there is a lot to be learnt from another then the whole family unit can and more often does exist in harmony, something any Dom or Master wishes for.

A Dom or Master chooses those who serve Him for many reason, it is something that in all honesty only they will ever know but He chooses those He thinks will compliment each other, especially if He has wishes for them to ‘play ‘ and engage in many sexual activities together, again this is where trust comes in, you need to know for certain that you can trust a sister who is going to be inbetween your legs as they have teeth !! All joking aside, if you do not trust then you need to look at the reasons why, sometimes others versions of the truth are just that ‘ Their’ versions and not necessarily ones that are right, and by the same token if a sub/slave is all sweetness and light all the time, chances are she is a power keg waiting to go off and if you are not careful you might just be the intended victim.

To have trust in others you first need to trust yourself, and that starts with stopping pretending, stop acting as if you are perfect, no one is, we are all human and we all have hopes, wishes and desires, kitten tends to have more faith and trust in those who don’t lie to themselves as she has a feeling they are less likely to lie to others and trust cannot be built on lies.

Friendship

This was sent to kitten by someone who loves her dearly, she is worried about kitten and she thinks that kitten is dying bit by bit, all kitten can tell her is that kitten is kitten,all singing and all dancing, she will be fine and what will be will be, as with everything there is always a dark time in life that we need to travel to see the light, some travel faster than others but ultimatly we all reach the light,, take care my friend and know that kitten holds you in her heart and loves you so very much xx