When you travel through the many BDSM and M/s D/s blogs available online one of the common themes that seems to be mentioned a lot is that communication is vital between all parties involved. Primarily before the 'relationship' can move forward both parties talk, work together with regard to limits, expectations, desires, needs, rules etc etc. This is the foundation for all relationships and hopefully helps to build a strong and stable base for all. If the differences are too vast then obviously the people involved can and should make an informed choice as to whether to try to proceed forward or the things wanted by either party are too different to make things work so that both parties are happy.
Thats in the beginning of the relationship. Hopefully this will set the groundwork for all future communication and help to strengthen the relationship.
So what happens when/if things go wrong ?
What happens is things get to the stage that the Master and slave split up because the foundation of their relationship has changed and one party is no longer happy and not getting their needs met? What happens if both parties decide that it is better to separate temporarily with the hope of rebuilding what they had ? What happens to that first initial communication ?
If the above circumstances are true, the separation is temporary and both parties have a deep love for each other and the desire for the M/s relationship to work, then does the slave have the 'right' to say what it is she wants/needs/desires/expects from the Master ? After all, they have an intimate knowledge of each other, they know each others quirks and habits, BUT they also know each others flaws and behavior patterns so is the slave allowed to voice what she is looking for from the Master so previous problems are alleviated and addressed to ensure that both parties come back together stronger and happier ?
People are quick to advise new subs and slaves to talk and set out basics when meeting a potential new Dom or Master yet no one seem to feel the same applies to a relationship that has broken and the parties involved are seeking to repair it. Surely the Master and slave involved SHOULD talk and work out what went wrong and what each feels helped towards the split ? Were there other people involved ? Did behavior towards each other change ? Were needs being met and if not then in what way ? What are they looking for in each other ? What expectations do they have moving forward ?
All to often its easy for the Master to place all the blame on the slave, after all He is Master so how He decides to treat the slave is up to Him. As the Dominant it is His prerogative to decide and use the slave as He sees fit and thats fine IF the slave is happy and fulfilled being treated that way. If not then if a break up and a reconciliation is being worked on the slave needs to be able to say what it is she is looking for from the Master. What He neglected/changed/altered to bring them to the currant state just as the Master has the right to state what about the slave He wants different. After all, this is the first step in the building of a strong foundation if the parties involved are new to each other so why should it be different if they are trying to reconcile ?
I am not stupid enough to think that things will not change in life. Life does not stand still and circumstances do change. People grow and things agreed and talked about in the beginning might not be relevant 5 years down the line. BUT and heres the thing, if things go wrong and one party is not happy then they should have their voice heard and that voice should be listened to and heard. They should not be degraded and humiliated and told they are topping from the bottom. They should be talked to and worked with. If there are behavior problems then they should be addressed and corrected not ignored and then thrown into their face at a later date. Rebuilding a relationship takes a lot of work, just as maintaining a relationship takes a lot of work. All to often its easy to blame the submissive as otherwise it means the Dominant has to look at their behavior and what THEY did wrong and accept and learn from it, not an easy thing for them to do. The slave should be able to state what it is she wants/needs/desires from the Master. To ask questions and get honest answers. To be able to say what she see for the future and whether that is something He wants as well otherwise what is the point in proceeding ? If the end goal for both of them is different? Where does that leave the relationship if its being build on misconceptions and going in different directions and the 'end' result is not the same for both ?
Love is a great first step in rebuilding a deep and meaningful relationship but it also takes communication, commitment, hard work, self examination, growth, honesty, faith and no outside interference to make it work. When all these are present then yes I do believe it can be worked on and fixed and the result is a stronger, healthier relationship.
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