Kitten has found herself with an unexpected day off, she was supposed to be working but due to being owed 3 weeks holiday that has to be taken before the end of the month she has got today off, well its a start at least ! This will give her time to get some jobs done, some things sorted out, before she goes to Master. When kitten found out she had this time, she was pleased, it meant that she could spend some time with Master, as just lately even though she has spoken to Him it has been interrupted chat or short conversations but the more she thought of it the more she realised she would not speak to Him any more, in fact properly less.
Kitten knows there are others in Masters life, those who read this blog know that Master is poly, and kitten has no problem with that, she tends to stay silent when another needs to chat with Him for what ever reason, she knows this is not supposed to be her choice but kitten knows that some have trouble understanding this way of life and so need something more, lol to read this you would think kitten an angel, she isn’t, she just has trouble interrupting when Master is talking with another, something not everyone seems to find hard but kitten does. Kitten knows she got annoyed last night, and thankfully Master was interrupted so it gave kitten the excuse to leave, once more expectations and hope came into play and kitten had hoped to chat with Him especially as she had not done so all day, and as she had not been well over the weekend and still working and Master being out, it seemed that the conversations this last week have all been very short and impersonal, and the time difference makes things hard, but it was not to be, yes she chatted, but was hard to chat with someone who is talking with another at the same time, makes conversations difficult.
As the time for kitten visiting Master draws closer, she has many questions, some things said that she would like to have cleared up but unfortunately it is not always possible to have a conversation when Master is so in demand, kitten does not want to know what He says to others, what is said to her is what she is concerned about, and the feelings of others as well, kitten knows in their position she too would be feeling anxious, no matter what they like to pretend.
It seems just lately kitten is writing posts that will get her in trouble, is this her way of rebelling ? Really don’t think so, kitten uses this for her thoughts, she cannot say them else where so she says them here and if anyone was to actually read her journal, well it is an eye opener even for kitten when she re reads it the following morning , kitten is still suffering from stress related shingles, her face is so tender and her eye is once more affected, hell keeps on like this and the chances of kitten keeping the sight in her eye diminishes, so guess this is why kitten is writing, need to get the thoughts out or else she will never be stress free and am now running out of plate, kitten needs to go to a bootsale or a garage sale, her stress reliever at times is smashing plates, throwing them at the garden wall and watching them smash, fall into little pieces on the floor, kinda like kittens life at times, falling into little bits with no hope of being fixed, as the saying goes..........Ce la vie kitten, ce la vie
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