Its All In The Wording

When you first start to interact with a Dom or Master there is a lot of talking and very little sex if it is done right. A person who does not wish to actually learn about their sub/slave Dom or Master does not actually seem to interested in this as a complete way of life, it has been kittens experience * and yeap just like everyone else kitten has been burnt a time or two by online fakes* that all they are looking for is a quick way to get their rocks off with none of the responsibility that goes with it.

The reason kitten mentions this is that during the talking period there comes a time when limits and hard limits are discussed, * or should be* as well as likes and dislikes and that is where wording is very important. A sub or slave has to remember that a Dom or Master only has what He is being told to base His judgments on, He has at this stage no real knowledge of the sub or slave and so He has to trust her to tell Him what she will and will not be open to.

Kitten has seen many in chat rooms say that they love the idea of being flogged, they welcome the feeling of being bound and choked, when in actual fact they have no real time experience with any of that, and the same goes for the new Doms or Masters, if they say that they are experts in bondage and floggings and have in fact had no experience in this then it can have disastrous consequences.

How something is said is very important, to tell a Dom or Master that you will not do something as it is a HARD LIMIT then that is what a Dom or Master has to trust, it is something that is non negotiable and a real Dom or Master will not expect this from you when playing or interacting with them, it is also something that you cannot change your mind about at a later date, a hard limit is just that, a hard limit, its a no no. A limit on the other hand is something that you are not sure about, it is something you could have had a bad experience with and while you are really uncertain about it, its not something you would volunteer to do willingly it is also something that can be pushed at by an experienced Dom or Master to see whether it is something that can be overcome. A real Dom or Master will try to get His sub/slave past her inner fear about something but at the same time doing it in a way that will not cause her harm or worry, if while pushing her the Master senses resistance and fear He will pull back and reassure her that everything is fine and she is safe, He will then stop that course of action/play and move on to something else, leaving that to be explored another day and maybe the next time it can be taken a bit further.

The problem with having limits and hard limits is that a limit can and usually is moved past, it is more often a case of fear of the unknown that makes it a limit, the sub/slave has no real experience of it so it frightens her where as a hard limit is something she has decided she does not want and it is not up for negotiation, it is a moot point and not something she will entertain in her submission, again the words a Dom or Master are told is all He has to go on so He takes her hard limits and respects them, not pushing at them and not trying to break them down. Unfortunately a hard limit is more often something that they decide at a later date they might actually like and so they start to change the playing field if they can, but that is not always possible, remember if you have changed your mind about one thing then how is a Dom or Master to know what else you have changed your mind about ? Also if there are more than one hard limit and you want to ignore one then how are they to know the others are still hard limits ?

As kitten said in the beginning – its all in the wording so be careful how you say something and what it is you are saying

Day Off but staying away

Kitten has found herself with an unexpected day off, she was supposed to be working but due to being owed 3 weeks holiday that has to be taken before the end of the month she has got today off, well its a start at least ! This will give her time to get some jobs done, some things sorted out, before she goes to Master. When kitten found out she had this time, she was pleased, it meant that she could spend some time with Master, as just lately even though she has spoken to Him it has been interrupted chat or short conversations but the more she thought of it the more she realised she would not speak to Him any more, in fact properly less.

Kitten knows there are others in Masters life, those who read this blog know that Master is poly, and kitten has no problem with that, she tends to stay silent when another needs to chat with Him for what ever reason, she knows this is not supposed to be her choice but kitten knows that some have trouble understanding this way of life and so need something more, lol to read this you would think kitten an angel, she isn’t, she just has trouble interrupting when Master is talking with another, something not everyone seems to find hard but kitten does. Kitten knows she got annoyed last night, and thankfully Master was interrupted so it gave kitten the excuse to leave, once more expectations and hope came into play and kitten had hoped to chat with Him especially as she had not done so all day, and as she had not been well over the weekend and still working and Master being out, it seemed that the conversations this last week have all been very short and impersonal, and the time difference makes things hard, but it was not to be, yes she chatted, but was hard to chat with someone who is talking with another at the same time, makes conversations difficult.

As the time for kitten visiting Master draws closer, she has many questions, some things said that she would like to have cleared up but unfortunately it is not always possible to have a conversation when Master is so in demand, kitten does not want to know what He says to others, what is said to her is what she is concerned about, and the feelings of others as well, kitten knows in their position she too would be feeling anxious, no matter what they like to pretend.

It seems just lately kitten is writing posts that will get her in trouble, is this her way of rebelling ? Really don’t think so, kitten uses this for her thoughts, she cannot say them else where so she says them here and if anyone was to actually read her journal, well it is an eye opener even for kitten when she re reads it the following morning , kitten is still suffering from stress related shingles, her face is so tender and her eye is once more affected, hell keeps on like this and the chances of kitten keeping the sight in her eye diminishes, so guess this is why kitten is writing, need to get the thoughts out or else she will never be stress free and am now running out of plate, kitten needs to go to a bootsale or a garage sale, her stress reliever at times is smashing plates, throwing them at the garden wall and watching them smash, fall into little pieces on the floor, kinda like kittens life at times, falling into little bits with no hope of being fixed, as the saying goes..........Ce la vie kitten, ce la vie