New Social Site

kitten as many know has been in a few of the social sites on the internet, some better than others and that is why she is telling you all about a new site she has joined.
The site is for BDSM M/s and D/s relationships, you can post blogs, pictures,music, chat and so much more but the best part is it is for like minded people who when you look at the poll and read the posts and actually chat with them are on the whole REAL people and not just online players that you find in so many of the sites online.
The site is http://anownedlife.ning.com and it is a mine of information for newbies and more experienced people alike. Please check it out and look forward to seeing you in there, kitten is sure you will enjoy the site

Sitting In Slience

I sit in silence
Closing my eyes
Feeling all of lifes worries
Bearing down on me

I feel the pain of seperation
The sharp ache of longing
I hear the echo of nothingness
surrounding me in my thoughts

I close my heart a bit more
The fear of drowning in my grief strong
I wipe the lone tear from my cheek
Breathing deep to steady myself

Standing tall I open my eyes
A smile in place as i cry inside
My tears, my sorrow, my pain, my grief
All mine to hide from sight

This is my life, I need to live
Not exisit as others want
I have to be who I really am
And know that Master is my strength

I have left behind a world of pain
Yet it seems to follow me
Turning to Him is my only salvation
His arms my port in this life

I draw on His strength
I feel His protection
He is my rock when all is crumbling
I have my life now, I am free to live

Questions

At Masters request today kitten spoke to a Domme that Master had been conversing with and to say the conversation was 'enlightning' is putting it mildly.

After saying hello and commenting on kitten talking in the third person her first question to kitten * remember kitten had not spoke to this person before* was
" Would you mind your Master using me in front of you as that will happen if we meet"

Hhhmmm to say kitten was surprised is putting it mildly - kitten is a slave and this person a Domme, and as a slave it is not kittens choice or place to either mind or not mind, it is Masters and as a Domme this is something kitten had assumed that she would know.

So that led her to question what type of things Master likes and dislikes, again that is not kittens place to answer for Master, she can say what SHE likes * kitten that is* and what she doesn't like very much but to answer for Master ? nope not kittens place as how is kitten to know whether He likes something with other slaves that He does not like with kitten ?

So now kitten is processing things in her head, things that she had thought were standard practices, the knowledge that a sub/slave has no choice in who her Master plays with and when, the belief that a Dom/Dommes Master or Mistress should have at least a basic grasp of what a sub or slaves place is and indeed the understanding that a sub or slave does not answer for her Master unless told to give out certain information if they are asked.

The conversation went on to her telling kitten all about her past experiences and how she has no limits and so on and so forth and by the end of the conversation kitten was really confused, was this Domme a switch ? was she a Domme but really wanted Master * and with all respect kitten knows Master is a hunk and there are many who do want Him and not just as a Master but as a man as well* or was she just looking to impress with her knowledge of certain parts of BDSM and really only making things up ?

There are some things a Master/Mistress Dom or Domme should know insinctivly if they are serious about this life, but that is just kittens opinon and maybe she is wrong and judging someone on her own beliefs, time will tell ................

The cost Of This Life

There is an old saying, that everything is possible - but at a price and never more true than when you are looking into this lifestyle.

Many of your friends and family will say that all they want is your happiness, that as long as you are safe and free from harm then you should live your life as you see fit, and not to worry about them as they are fine. Well kitten is here to tell you that in the majority of the cases that is so far from the truth it is laughable

When kitten moved to Master she knew the cost to herself, it was something she and she alone would have to decide, not only was she moving away from all the things that were familiar to her, her family, her friends, her work and to some extent the 'safeness' of her life but she was also moving to another country where they drive on the wrong side of the road, they speak funny and don't understand kitten when she speaks, the money is so whacky its ridiculous at times trying to work out what things cost and that is just the normal everyday living, that does not include the journey that kitten is taking just by being with Master, the things she has to learn or unlearn as the case might be.

kitten has times when all the feelings of loss are overwhelming, when all she can think of is her family and friends, her need to speak to them, see them, touch them and it is at those times kitten tends to close down a bit, the choices that were made were made by kitten and no one else, Master supports kitten but would not tell her what to do with regard to making a choice, that was something He refused to do in that He knew that the feelings that kitten gets would have been directed at Him and unfairly so as well.

People love to tell you that they only want your happiness, what they fail to tell you is they want your happiness as long as it falls in with what they want you to do and that is something kitten is finding out the hard way, but if you were to ask her does she regret her desicion then the answer would be no not in the slightest as this is how kitten needs to live, she is where she needs to be and with whom she needs to be with BUT and heres the thing, ask her again if she believes that others want her happiness in everything she does and she will proberbly answer - if it suits their purpose.

Its All In The Wording

When you first start to interact with a Dom or Master there is a lot of talking and very little sex if it is done right. A person who does not wish to actually learn about their sub/slave Dom or Master does not actually seem to interested in this as a complete way of life, it has been kittens experience * and yeap just like everyone else kitten has been burnt a time or two by online fakes* that all they are looking for is a quick way to get their rocks off with none of the responsibility that goes with it.

The reason kitten mentions this is that during the talking period there comes a time when limits and hard limits are discussed, * or should be* as well as likes and dislikes and that is where wording is very important. A sub or slave has to remember that a Dom or Master only has what He is being told to base His judgments on, He has at this stage no real knowledge of the sub or slave and so He has to trust her to tell Him what she will and will not be open to.

Kitten has seen many in chat rooms say that they love the idea of being flogged, they welcome the feeling of being bound and choked, when in actual fact they have no real time experience with any of that, and the same goes for the new Doms or Masters, if they say that they are experts in bondage and floggings and have in fact had no experience in this then it can have disastrous consequences.

How something is said is very important, to tell a Dom or Master that you will not do something as it is a HARD LIMIT then that is what a Dom or Master has to trust, it is something that is non negotiable and a real Dom or Master will not expect this from you when playing or interacting with them, it is also something that you cannot change your mind about at a later date, a hard limit is just that, a hard limit, its a no no. A limit on the other hand is something that you are not sure about, it is something you could have had a bad experience with and while you are really uncertain about it, its not something you would volunteer to do willingly it is also something that can be pushed at by an experienced Dom or Master to see whether it is something that can be overcome. A real Dom or Master will try to get His sub/slave past her inner fear about something but at the same time doing it in a way that will not cause her harm or worry, if while pushing her the Master senses resistance and fear He will pull back and reassure her that everything is fine and she is safe, He will then stop that course of action/play and move on to something else, leaving that to be explored another day and maybe the next time it can be taken a bit further.

The problem with having limits and hard limits is that a limit can and usually is moved past, it is more often a case of fear of the unknown that makes it a limit, the sub/slave has no real experience of it so it frightens her where as a hard limit is something she has decided she does not want and it is not up for negotiation, it is a moot point and not something she will entertain in her submission, again the words a Dom or Master are told is all He has to go on so He takes her hard limits and respects them, not pushing at them and not trying to break them down. Unfortunately a hard limit is more often something that they decide at a later date they might actually like and so they start to change the playing field if they can, but that is not always possible, remember if you have changed your mind about one thing then how is a Dom or Master to know what else you have changed your mind about ? Also if there are more than one hard limit and you want to ignore one then how are they to know the others are still hard limits ?

As kitten said in the beginning – its all in the wording so be careful how you say something and what it is you are saying

We Always Want More

Strange title for kitten writing isn't it - well there is a reason, and that is as a slave it seems to be inbred that we always want more, more time with our Master, more interactions, more sex, more everything, and those who think they have nothing really do not realize how much they actually have until they have the same as another slave * this applies to poly as well as when comparing to fellow slaves/subs*

It seems that there is a 'need' to compare, to want what the others have without really knowing what it is they have, all you can see is a preconceived idea of something, no fact based knowledge and that is the worst thing, especially if you have been in a position where you know exactly what it is the other slaves are getting.

Being envious of someone is nothing new, it seems that many subs and slaves have those feelings, they are not malicious in their intent but in their actions more, and that is where things fall apart, it might be that they read something and 'assumed' or they heard something and ' jumped to conclusions' what ever the reason the feelings of being given nothing are strong, lol if only they realized just how much they actually have in comparison to others then they might be thankful for that, instead kitten has seen them push and push at their Masters, questioning and asking, wanting more and more, but for them to get more they do not seem to realise that in the case of a poly Master this means someone else will get less - hhhmm something doesn't sound right there does it ?

For a sub or a slave to get more, then someone else is going to have to get less, and if they are not getting much in the way of interaction already then how can a sub or slave take that little bit from them ? Easily - because they THINK they are getting less than anyone else already, so in their mind they deserve more, and so the circle continues.

It is a Masters choice who He interacts with, who He talks/plays/laughs/jokes with and that is how it is supposed to be, might not be as you wish it to be but hell no sub or slave will ever truly be happy unless she has 100% of the attention, kitten knows this because she feels the same way at times but the difference is kitten not does not speak to Him about nothing unless He talks to her first, kitten has learnt to wait, and if that day there is no time to talk with her then thats ok, maybe tomorrow will be kittens turn. By kittens actions she is in fact allowing her own feelings and values intrude on what should be Masters choice, her own sense of what is right and wrong is interfering with what is Masters wishes, and that is something Master is trying to get through to kittens sometimes not so bright brain