Wednesday 10 February 2010

Morning Ramblings

So much has happened in my life this past two weeks that i am struggling to keep all the negative thoughts from my head, and its hard and not really working to be honest. I have tried to take each day as it comes, looking for the good in it and the good in my life but sometimes its not easy.
I am still trying to deal with this eternal tiredness, i think its my way of shutting things out, of not letting them get to me, closing my eyes and my mind to all that is going on around me through the power of sleep * or in my case near unconsiousness * I know that is not fair to Master but most of the time He is busy so does not notice anyway so its not as if i am failing Him in my duty as His slave.
I am now finally used to not being able to sit on the furniture, i automatically sit on the floor now as is His wish and after a few mishaps getting up * lol its not easy trying to stand when you have your hands cuffed, your balance is way off * i think i might have got the hang of it, so god knows what is next, He is using subtle ways to break my independant streak.
I know this is a sort of blahhhhh post but i will be honest in that the things happening in my life are personal at the moment and not something i feel i can share just yet, next week i will and then maybe people will understand but at the moment i need to just get through each day as best i can, putting all things behind me for another day until i have some sort of answer to a lot of the things in my mind.

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