I sit here most days wondering what to write, indeed if i should write at all as really what does it achieve ? Well for me this is a place to put down a watered version of my journal, some of the more generic thoughts and ideas i have whether its refurring to basic life or the new things Master want to try play wise - and He has some GREAT ideas which i am really excited about.
I have heard many times how people are scared of needles and how they spend hours before a blood test moaning and groaning about it but this is something that does not bother me so when Master said He wanted to experiment on me with needles i was all for it - lol i am not stupid, i know that He will ensure i am safe but at the same time He will cater to that pain slut side of me.
He has so many ideas and thoughts about play, the garage is being turned into a play room, He has already made a version of a cross which i get chained to when He wants to use the whip, and the swing He can get from the 6ft whip is WWWOOOWWW !! He is also planning to suspend some chains from the rafters to hang me from, even the though of that makes me ache with desire.
As for the medical issues, well i still have a week to wait for those to come back, and added to all the rest of the stuff going on in my life that is really one thing i could do without, not only me but Master as well 'cos even though He tries to be positive for me He is worried about my health and so is sis, they both 'mother' me in their own ways and for that i love them.
Sometimes things pile up one after the other and it seems that is what is happening right now, we try to be supportive when we can and help and be sympathetic to others but at other times you feel like screaming at them and saying "If only you had half the trouble that i have then you can say something " but as usual we stay quiet and provide that shoulder for others to lean on. One of the thing that comes to mind is my daughter, i feel for her, i know all she is going through and so i listen and am sympathetic, i support her and am there for her, yet deep inside i want to tell her what i am going through but i won't as its not her problem to bear, she is so caught up in herself that she is almost blinded to anything else and i do understand her feelings, what she is experiencing is new and wonderful to her so i am happy for her and will not burden her.
Sometimes life catches up with you and you have no choice but to weather the storms and pray you make it through the other side.
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