Trust

A lot of this life is taken on trust, a sub/slave HAS to have complete trust in the One that owns her, her life is in His hands and as such He has the power to either enrich that life or destroy it, by the same token a Dom or Master has to have trust in those who serve Him, indeed He cannot accept submission from someone He doesn’t trust as this makes a mockery of all this life stands for.

At the same time a sister in a poly relationship needs to have trust in others within the family unit, she needs to know that those in that family are ones that will help and support her at times of stress and not turn a bad situation into one that will benefit herself, this involves a lot of trust on both parts and this is something that is not always there.

To submit to a Poly Master is something many say they have no problem with, however when they are greeted with one of their ‘sisters’ this can soon change, personality conflicts can sometimes sour what could be a good relationship, as can jealousy and a feeling of being slighted when things are said, especially if one is more experienced than another as is often the case. There are many times when the more experienced one is not the primary slave but this by no means gives the other the right to try to dictate actions to her, if she was to open her mind to the possibility that there is a lot to be learnt from another then the whole family unit can and more often does exist in harmony, something any Dom or Master wishes for.

A Dom or Master chooses those who serve Him for many reason, it is something that in all honesty only they will ever know but He chooses those He thinks will compliment each other, especially if He has wishes for them to ‘play ‘ and engage in many sexual activities together, again this is where trust comes in, you need to know for certain that you can trust a sister who is going to be inbetween your legs as they have teeth !! All joking aside, if you do not trust then you need to look at the reasons why, sometimes others versions of the truth are just that ‘ Their’ versions and not necessarily ones that are right, and by the same token if a sub/slave is all sweetness and light all the time, chances are she is a power keg waiting to go off and if you are not careful you might just be the intended victim.

To have trust in others you first need to trust yourself, and that starts with stopping pretending, stop acting as if you are perfect, no one is, we are all human and we all have hopes, wishes and desires, kitten tends to have more faith and trust in those who don’t lie to themselves as she has a feeling they are less likely to lie to others and trust cannot be built on lies.

Friendship

This was sent to kitten by someone who loves her dearly, she is worried about kitten and she thinks that kitten is dying bit by bit, all kitten can tell her is that kitten is kitten,all singing and all dancing, she will be fine and what will be will be, as with everything there is always a dark time in life that we need to travel to see the light, some travel faster than others but ultimatly we all reach the light,, take care my friend and know that kitten holds you in her heart and loves you so very much xx

Belonging

It’s 7am and kitten is sitting on the patio, showered and half dressed ready for another long day, all she can hear are the birds in the trees in her garden and the sound of silence, a sound she is used to and one that can fill her with peace or dread, its strange how something can do two different things, there are times when kitten welcomes the silence, when she is troubled or struggling within herself she needs the silence to focus on what she needs to sort out, and yet at other times the silence is a punishment, something that scares her and leaves her with more doubts and fears then the loudest shouting.

Today the silence is confusing her, there is so much going on in her head, it might be the lack of sleep or it might be that she has questions that need to be asked so they can be answered, or it might be that she has doubts and fears that are raising their head more and more lately, and hopefully at some stage today she will figure out what is plaguing her, as to be honest she hates this at the moment she is so confused and mixed up.

Do you ever turn around and look about you, really look at your life and where you are and wonder WHY.... Why am i here, What am i doing, Where am i going ?

Kitten does and these questions have plagued her more and more just lately, she needs direction and focus, kitten needs very little in her life but simple things are the ones she needs the most, she needs to belong and to be honest at the moment kitten doesn’t belong anywhere.

The need to be useful

Every one wants to feel useful, they want to be a part of something and these feeling are no less, in fact they are probably more intense if you are a sub/slave in the D/s M/s lifestyle. A slave is supposed to be a part of her Masters life, she can be a part of the sex side only or she can be a non sex slave and be used for her knowledge or skills in another area of her Masters life, but what if you are neither ? What if you are not ‘involved’ in any part of His life, you are not used for the fun sex side or the hard work business side, then what are you ?

A slave and in certain cases a sub as well need to feel useful, they crave the chance to show their owners that they can and will help in any way they can, if the things that need doing are work related then if taught they will strive to put 110% effort into any task given and if sex related, well that is something that kitten is sure they will need no effort or encouragement in.

A slave has few needs and those are easily satisfied, they need to be a part of their Masters life and if it is online then the feelings of being included and wanted are harder to portray, the effort needed on both parts is greater and at times words typed and words meant are not the same, or the meanings are open for misinterpretation, both of which can cause conflict and hurt feelings, this is where communication is vital, the lines should be open so that both the Master and the slave can talk to each other about what is going on and what is expected of her, can you imagine how many games would be lost in a Football game if the coach told the players to just get on with it and get the ball, there is no directions, no game plan, no words of encouragement, well the same can be true for this life as well.

The Mind is a powerful thing

The most powerful part of the body is the mind, it is something that you can use limitlessly, it is full of wonder and excitement, it is full of knowledge but always has room for more, it can destroy the greatest idea or create the newest invention, the mind is something that has no boundaries, no limits not expectations, it simple is ,, and knowing how to use it is something no one will ever master, its possibilities are endless and even the greatest of people will never understand it.

Kitten has a mind, she has hopes dreams and desires, she has expectations and beliefs and those all stem from her mind, a tool she uses daily and it serves her well at times, but there is a part of kittens mind that she uses to store thing, a locked door if you like that she keeps things hidden, closed away from the rest of her so she cannot be hurt by them, cannot let them into her life and take from her, that part of kittens mind is somewhere she tries not to go but invariably there are times when the door gets opened and things crash into the rest of her mind, taking over, controlling her, kitten struggles to push them back, hurrying to slam the door on them, she can’t let them in, she needs to keep them closed off and not give them room inside her, to do this could and most likely would break her, something she fights not to let happen.

Kitten is a pain slut, she can take being tied and whipped, she loves the feel of the paddle on (and in) her pussy, the sweet sharp pain that excites her and pleases her, nipples pinched and clamped tight, ankles tied tight as her body is stretched open for His pleasure (and ultimately hers as well) This is physical pain, a wonderful feeling if it is something you enjoy, so why does emotional pain hurt her so bad? Why can she not deal with that as well? Why does she need to shut down that part of her and hide it away?

Kitten knows that the way she will deal with this is to ignore it, put it in that room in her mind and close the door hard on it , not mention it, not let it have any space in her active mind, There are still things that kitten has to do to take this to the conclusion that she knows must happen, and that will be hard, she doesn’t know if she is strong enough to do it, she knows it will hurt so many people not least of all her, can she do it ? Will she have the strength? kitten really wishes she had a time machine, she would turn the clock back and do things differently but that is not to be and so she locks her mind, closes it off and turns to the world and smiles, showing them what they expect to see, telling them what they expect to hear, supporting them as they expect her to, these things she can do as in doing them she doesn’t need to think about her own pain.

Don’t mention it, don’t talk about it, close it away, and then kitten will be fine, she is all singing all dancing and that is how the world will see her, nothing can touch her, nothing can hurt her anymore

SShhh can you hear ?

Ssssssshh, quietly, can you hear that sound?

It’s the sound of my heart breaking slowly,

Shattering into pieces as i try to understand the feelings inside of me

Can you see my tears falling, wetting my face as i sob silently?

Yet all you see is my smile, the one i put upon my face to fool the world

Let me hear your voice, i need to hear your words of reassurance

Let me savour then and hold then inside my head, take them and keep them with me

Please hold me, keep me safe, protect me yet let me grow and learn

i am so close to falling apart, i don’t know which way to turn, show me the way please

My head and heart are pounding; the pain is tearing me apart

You ask me what is wrong with me, to tell you what is causing this pain

But i cannot find the words i need to explain these things to You

I need to keep them locked away, hidden from the world

i have to try to protect myself, not give them room to grow

So all i ask is that You hold me, keep me safe from harm, take this pain i feel and make it go away

Silently i sit here and wrap my arms around my shaking body

Hugging tight to hold myself together in one piece

My head bowed on my knees as i curl into a ball, protecting myself, i cannot break now

i hear my name and lift my head, wiping away my tears, forcing a smile onto my face

Turning, looking, my smile is all you see, i am me, all singing all dancing, it will be ok

Words of Submission

This is for all those who love the BDSM lifestyle and poetry. It is a book of over 100 poems about life as a slave as recited by one with more than 20 years in the lifestyle. Many found it moving in test research as I am sure you will also. Here is a sampling of one:

He is Master as she is slave
He is Strong as she needs His strength
He is Wise as she needs His wisdom
He is Kind as she needs His kindness
He is Loving as she needs His love
He is Teacher as she needs to learn
He is Trusting as she needs His trust
He is Master as she is slave

He is Master as she is slave
He is Truth as she needs the truth
He is Punishment as she needs the lessons
He is Honest as she needs honesty
He is Laughter as she need to laugh
He is Comfort as she needs to cry
He is Safety as she needs to be safe
He is Master as she is slave

He is Master as she is slave
He is Map as she finds her way
He is Light as she needs to see
He is Food as she needs to feed
He is Answers as she asks the questions
He is Knowledge as she to know
He is Reward as she needs to be rewarded
He is Master as she is His


Check out this exciting new book "Words of Submission" here.

Being a slave

kitten is a slave, ok no big deal for many of you , and in some ways kitten knows that others look at her and say,, so what,, its not a big deal but for kitten it is, its a very big deal and that is something kitten will not deny, she knows she has this ‘ inherent’ desire to serve, and not just anyone, its not as if just because kitten is a slave anyone can come up to her and say ‘ Suck my cock slave’ as despite what kitten is sure some believe it is not like that at all.

So what does it mean to be a slave ? who are you if you serve another ? well honestly ,, you do not exist, there is no you, you are His and in being His He decides who you are, you are what He allows you to be, nothing more and nothing less, If He wishes you to play, He will tell you, until you are told you do not touch your body, remember its not yours any more, it belongs to Him, if He wants you to do certain tasks, you do them if it is within your abilities, whether you want to or not s irrelevant, its not your decision, If He wishes you to have sex with another be it male of female, again not your choice, its His. Everything you do or are is dependant on Him and that kitten knows some have a hard time with, lets face it, kitten still struggles at times and hell she has been in this life for years, but as each Master is different then each experience is different as well so past ‘ experience’ does not count for diddly squat.

In this life a lot,, no all of what a slave does depends on her Master, He is the controlling force in her life, the One who she looks to for guidance and help, the One she trusts and believes in above all others, He is the One constant in a slaves life and as such He has a hard job, He has to look out for His property, make sure it is happy and well, think of a car if you like, with out gas and oil and water it will cease to function, and so will a slave without love and care and nurturing, a slave is something a Master owns and just like His car or His house, time and care is needed to ensure that His slave is happy and content.

This life is not the easy escape from realism that some seem to think it is, its just life with a different twist, we have our problems the same as everyone else.

Thinking

Kitten hasn’t written in a few days, so much going on and time escaping her, that is life and at time it’s no picnic really.

Kitten has been thinking, and that in itself is scary, those who know kitten are few and far between but she holds them close in her heart, kitten has a big heart which it seems others love to stamp on, either with words said or not said, deeds done or not done, all things designed to hurt yet kitten is still here, still smiling, ok might be strained at times but as she said, that’s life.

People see this way of life as an escape, those who do not understand it mock it, and those who pretend to understand but have no idea cause harm and pain to others, kitten knows she is not totally blameless, she has been known to attack a few times herself, more in self defence but that is still no reason to do it and kitten knows that.

So what has kitten been thinking? well too much it seems and she is tired now, tired of trying and hoping and wishing and praying, what will be will be and kitten has no control over things, she is just kitten and one day that will be enough, hopefully