What is a Master ?

last night Master had kitten crying,,,, with laughter and it was something kitten never realised she needed, it lifted her in a way she has not felt in ages, all the turmoil in her head was temporarily forgotten and she was hurting with laughter * seems Master thinks kitten talks funny, like she says eetch instead of itch, and no matter how kitten tried, she could not say it right, but that could be because of the laughter.

How did Master know that kitten was down ? kitten never told Him, she never said a word, but He was so funny last night, lol kitten got banned from laughing at one stage as her belly was hurting and her tears were running down her face. How can one person know His slaves moods better than she does ? It was weird yet at the same time something kitten is learning to trust about Master, no matter what she says or doesn’t say, He knows kitten better than she knows herself at times, and that is scary yet at the same time a huge relief.

Kitten has a hard time talking about things she doesn’t want to bring to the front of her mind, this is an ongoing problem but for some reason Master wants to know, again this is hard, in previous M/s relationships kittens thoughts and feelings were always used against her, hence why she does not talk about them if she can avoid it * key phrase is kitten is fine thank You and then change the subject* This at times causes major problems, things build and kitten gets scared, and yes she is a whimp but that is how she is, if a person gets knocked down enough they learn to like the view from down there.

So last night was a welcome relief for kitten, for the first time in over a week kitten went to bed with a smile on her face and peace in her mind, it was a wonderful feeling and kitten learnt 5 things last night as well

#1Master is a terrible terrible tease

#2 Master now knows kitten hates spiders * this is not a good thing kitten is thinking

#3 Master knows kitten better than kitten does at times

#4 kitten needs to learn to speak properly * hhmmm wait till kitten starts talking cockney slang, that will baffle Master *

#5 Master is the One thing in kittens life that she can trust and believe in, last night proved that, no words spoken yet He knew, that is what being a Master is about, knowing those You own, helping them, guiding them and lifting them when they need it

Master may not have known what the problem was and to be honest kitten not sure He will ever be told * see the bit about talking about things * but last night certainly helped kitten more than He will ever know

Thank You Master, thank You for being You and for caring about kitten, kitten is one very lucky slave

Being a slave

kitten is a slave, ok no big deal for many of you , and in some ways kitten knows that others look at her and say,, so what,, its not a big deal but for kitten it is, its a very big deal and that is something kitten will not deny, she knows she has this ‘ inherent’ desire to serve, and not just anyone, its not as if just because kitten is a slave anyone can come up to her and say ‘ Suck my cock slave’ as despite what kitten is sure some believe it is not like that at all.

So what does it mean to be a slave ? who are you if you serve another ? well honestly ,, you do not exist, there is no you, you are His and in being His He decides who you are, you are what He allows you to be, nothing more and nothing less, If He wishes you to play, He will tell you, until you are told you do not touch your body, remember its not yours any more, it belongs to Him, if He wants you to do certain tasks, you do them if it is within your abilities, whether you want to or not s irrelevant, its not your decision, If He wishes you to have sex with another be it male of female, again not your choice, its His. Everything you do or are is dependant on Him and that kitten knows some have a hard time with, lets face it, kitten still struggles at times and hell she has been in this life for years, but as each Master is different then each experience is different as well so past ‘ experience’ does not count for diddly squat.

In this life a lot,, no all of what a slave does depends on her Master, He is the controlling force in her life, the One who she looks to for guidance and help, the One she trusts and believes in above all others, He is the One constant in a slaves life and as such He has a hard job, He has to look out for His property, make sure it is happy and well, think of a car if you like, with out gas and oil and water it will cease to function, and so will a slave without love and care and nurturing, a slave is something a Master owns and just like His car or His house, time and care is needed to ensure that His slave is happy and content.

This life is not the easy escape from realism that some seem to think it is, its just life with a different twist, we have our problems the same as everyone else.

kitten is kitten,,, no more no less

Do you ever wonder about your life? About where and when it is going to go your way? When you will ever realise your dreams, your hopes? Your ambitions?

Its strange, kitten really though she was set for life,when she was with her previous Master, who was also her husband, she was happy and contented, things were ok, lol nothing is ever perfect is it and kitten served Him in everyway He demanded, some of the things kitten had to do have affected her in small ways and even now a word or a gesture can make the memories flood back, the other night was an example of that , then things changed, in a bad way, and kitten was in a place that she prays no slave or sub will ever be, she had to make a choice, her child or her Master.

It is one of the worst decisions kitten has ever made, she had no choice really, her child was dying ( kitten thanks god he is still with her and as well as he can be )and needed her so there was no contest, that in itself made kitten a bad slave in His eyes, this lead to years of not being good enough, not being worth anything, kitten was useless she was a failure lol kitten was so many things she is sure some of the words He actually made up.

Eventually kitten could take no more and He left, it was His choice though not kittens, kitten had been ignored sexually for so long it didn’t make any difference to her, He would take people home with Him, other subs and pleasure them in front of kitten and make her watch, all the time telling her she will never know the feeling of Him again as she was too fat/ugly/stupid to deserve it . Do you ever shut off inside your head ? where things said and done will not hurt you any more ? kitten became an expert at that, smiling, she used to write in her head, compose stories and poems while her expression was blankly watching ( had learnt early that to not watch was not worth the punishment received)

This is just one chapter in kittens life, it happened and there is nothing kitten can do about the past, maybe tomorrow she will tell you all about someone she meet who changed her, and in a way He is responsible for kitten being with her Master now, kitten cannot live in the past any more,, she has to look to the future but the past is something that shapes our future, it is something that makes us who we are

Kitten is kitten, no more no less, she is an owned slave and she serves her Master as best she can, yes she pisses Him off at times, but she also makes Him smile and she knows He laughs out loud at some of her kitteneze sayings, kitten has very few good friends, there is one she travels hand in hand with daily , kitten has a sister who she hopes to interact with eventually, who knows stranger things happen at sea

Kittens saying ,,,, Always remember who you are, to not be you is to pretend to be someone else

It makes kitten smile when she reads/hears of others misconceptions. Kitten knows that people form preconceived ideas and likes/dislikes to other people based on initial meetings but just lately she has seen those preconceived ideas enter into other things and to be honest she smiles when she hears of them
People seem to think that because kitten is online with her Master during the day and early evening that T/they do nothing but chat and interact, lol if only that was the truth! kitten can be online with Master for hours at a time and not a word spoken as He is busy, this is true for the day as well as the evening, and when kitten does get to talk to Him then invariably others would interrupt assuming that kitten had spoken to Him all day so kitten doesn’t get to interact with Him or have one to one time sometimes for days on end
An example is this week, Master has been busy with various projects and this kitten understands, she still craves that time spent talking but it has not happened, yet kitten is sure that people are under the impression that Master talks to kitten constantly ... one day this week, kitten and Master were online together for 13 hours, the total time spent talking amounted to less than 90 minutes, and that is not the first nor will it be the last time that happens kitten is sure
It seems to kitten that not everything is as it first appears and that is one thing that should be known, just because you think it doesn’t mean it is so... yes kitten is a slave to a poly Master and yes He will talk to kitten when He wishes and about what He wishes, but as with all things, its not all plain sailing and kitten would love to spend time with her Master on her own, but that is something she dreams of and knows happens only when others are not around to interrupt, either work, other projects or other slaves. All slaves are selfish in one way by craving time with the One who owns them, but all slaves need to learn to share if their Master is poly and that kitten does, a selfish slave who demands attention or throws her toys from the pram gets nothing, but by the same token a Master knows that all slaves have needs and wants, and does His best to see that all slaves are being cared for, even if it mean another slave getting her nose put out of joint

Is it enough ?

A slave has many uses to a Master, and they can range from being a house slave, a slave who helps a Master achieve His dreams, a slave who is there for emotional support, a sex slave, a same sex slave (one who will not have sex with Master but will engage at His request with other slaves He owns) but what if the type of slave you are is not enough? What if you know you are not desired by your Master as you want to be, you know He values you for certain things but He does not desire you sexually, will this be enough for you? Can you serve Him knowing you will never be used by Him?

Kitten knows that the feeling a slave feels for her Master are not just sexual but this forms a part of this life and if your Master shows no interest in you sexually then problems will occur. He will obviously be getting His needs met by others but what about you? A slave is told when to play and when to cum, yet if your Master doesn’t think of her needs then it can be and often is weeks at a time between Him remembering and more often than not it is at her reminder, this only serves to deflate a slaves feelings of self worth, she feels she is not valued or worth thinking about and this can and does lead to her doubting herself, if she is not worth a passing thought then what is she worth?

When you first get with a Master online then it is obviously difficult but in this age of cams, mics, and internet it need not be impossible, and if your sisters tell you that Master ‘ made them cum 12 times last night’ and you have not been played with at all, lol if her Master plays with those He doesn’t own but still not with you then you start to wonder what is wrong with you and question why, kitten knows that all slaves are individual but ultimately the basic needs of a slave should be remembered.

A slave has few needs and if she is a sexual person when her Master meet her and accepted her gift of submission then it stands to reason she will have desires and wants, things that form a part of her and those needs do not go away.

Question need to be asked and answered, this can be a major problem in any relationship not only in the M/s or BDSM life, but in this life the problems are more noticeable, if our Master does not want you,, can you really submit to Him ? Everyone has needs.

Poly Masters and slaves

A lot is said about being in a relationship and how a slave has no rights, but to kitten this is wrong, we do have some rights, and those are the rights of any human being, the right to be respected. What Master would want something He did not respect? the only type of Dom/Master would be an abusive one, to take a sub/slave and treat them with no respect is a form of abuse and it can and does destroy a slaves self esteem and a good Master builds a slave’s esteem as this makes her more worthy to Him as a person as well as a slave

A slave in a poly relationship has no rights over her Masters time and that is obvious in how she can be treated, she will sit and wait for Him to notice her, this is more evident online when the contact is limited anyway, add to this a time difference and this is more difficult, a Master will take this into account and will make sure that any time He is going to spend with that slave is hers, this does not always happen but kitten hopes that you would get that ‘special’ time at least twice a week, as everyone, including the Master needs to bond, and this is the way it happens.

Another thing kitten feels is that a slave needs to know exactly who is in the ‘ family’ who the other slaves and subs are, who else is a sister and to what degree, this is something that needs to be known, a Master who has 3 slaves is more able to satisfy the needs of His property than a Master who has 10, this kitten has seen a few times and to be honest if a Master is not telling you all involved in His life as a Master then you need to look at the reasons why ,, does He have too many to be able to be there for you when you need Him? Does He not regard you as a part of His family but more a distraction?

Kitten feels that to form a poly then all people involved need to know about each other and communicate, the doubts and misconceptions are fed when you discover that your Master has others you knew nothing about yet your sisters did and had been interacting with them alongside your Master, this leads you to question why you were not informed, a slave left out of the family is not a slave, she is just a person, and if she is to be part of the family then she needs to be included, that is not ‘Domming from the bottom’ that is being part of her Masters life, He accepted her gift of submission and all that it entailed, so to then not have her as part of Him is something she needs to ask why.

Something else that is important is you role in Masters life, what are you? if you are a sex slut then He will let you know that is what He wants from you but if He will not play with you then chances are that is not the role He has in mind for you, every slave fills a part of her Master, and a slave needs to know what part she is to fill,, if He wishes you to be a chauffeur and you cannot drive, then you will be of no use to Him! If He wants to take a whip to you and you hate pain, again some problems will arise, these are things that really need to be worked out and discussed.

It is hard for human nature not to get involved and jealousy is the one sure part of any slave regardless of whether she has been a slave for a 10 days or 10 years, the slave that says she is not jealous at some point or another is lying, both to herself and to her Master, something that a true Master will know and recognise as such, kitten does get jealous, not of the time spent with others as such but more of the time not spent with her. Kitten knows she has no rights over her Master but if looked at it another way, which Master would want a slave that is indifferent to Him? Who really didn’t care if He spoke/played/conversed with her? in one way the jealousy is a sign that a slave desires and wants her Master, and this can only be a good thing, as long as those feelings are not left to take over a slaves or a Master life then jealousy is an emotion that shows a Master how much He is love and desired, not only sexually but in an every day way as well

More kitten thoughts,, lol kitten really needs to stop writing what she feels!