One More Day

I really need to shake this infection off, my kidney feels as if it is on fire and once again i spent a night burning up, lol the only good thing is its so damn cold here in Florida that i spend a lot of time outside in the early hours cooling down so i can get some sleep. I have found that when i am shaking uncontrollably because i am cold then i can sleep if only for a little while before the circle starts again and the fever gets hold of me.

Last night i slept with my cuffs on as normal and this time i had the ankle restraints on as well, they are simple yet very effective, i am comfortable wearing them, hell even had them on when we went out for dinner last night and they were a part of me, who i am,what i am, what i need to be. i know this is not making sense to many people but given the last few days and the things my head has been turning over and trying to sort out it is making sense to Master, hence why He is adding little bits of His control and His 'mark' on me. I am to wear them to work as well, this is ok as i wear trousers and no one will see them but at the same time i will feel them and know i am there because He allows it, sure beats the other option and that is me giving up work which is what He was talking about last week and that is something i really don't want to do but know if He said i had to then i would.



i was looking back and thinking about my life - i have been with Master 10 months now and so much has happened in that short time that at times it scares me. I find myself getting deeper and deeper into my submission to Him, and while we still argue at times it is not as scary as it was in the beginning. He values my opinion and input in all areas of His life and listens to me when i am confused and not certain about things. There are times that i look at my life and it scares me, how easily i have given control over to Him, how even reading a book or watching a film is with His permission after my chores are done, and this is from someone who spent the last 5 years being the one in control and doing what needed to be done to ensure all were safe and happy.

I know this is a 'bitty' post but i have so much going on in my head at the moment that i really need to get clear before i can explain where my ramblings are going - and the weird thing is Master seems to understand this and hence why i am being shown His dominance more and more in little ways, but ways i need to hold on to to help me work things out.